Candy Feels

From Our Readers: I Feel Like I'm Living in a Box

Have you ever realized that what people see in you is far different from what you see in yourself?
PHOTO Anchor Bay Films ART Clare Magno

She's the bold one. She fears no one. She does what she want. She's selfish.

People say what they want to say. Some are right. Some are wrong. I never really cared about how people see me, as long as my friends understand where I'm coming from; I'm good with that. But having you're own sister to judge you? That's another story.

When I was two, we lost our mother. Our father married another good, loving, and caring woman who loved us as if we were hers. But in 2009, our father died. I have half-siblings, but nothing beats the bond that I share with my sisters by blood.

I tend to keep what I feel to myself, I thought because I didn't want to add to anyone's problems anymore. But is really being strong defined as being selfish? Right now, I stopped college. Right now, I'm working at my friend's house as their household help. I actually miss my stepmother and my half-siblings. I also miss those times when my sister and I were so close. But from her point of view, I was just messing my life.

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I don't get it. They tell me to do something I love because if I did, I'll get a great job and be succesful like they want me to be. I stopped BS Education not because I was failing—all my teachers tell me that I'm actually good at what I'm doing. It's just that I was not happy anymore.

I am not exactly happy with what I'm doing right now. But seeing my stepmom working to death for my sisters and brother, it kills me inside to ask even for just a little money for my own needs. I also want my other siblings to experience what I had when our dad was still alive.

My sister wants me to be happy with her choices, but why can't she be happy with mine?

Got a story to share? Log on to www.candymag.com/candy-feels and tell us your thoughts.

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