We were still in high school when you told my friend that you liked me. It was not a big deal for me because I had a huge crush on someone else. You started to message me on Facebook and greet me in school. I took it normally because we were friends. You gave me gifts before graduation—chocolates, flowers, food. It was normal for me because, again, we were friends. I'm sorry I never showed my appreciation for those gestures.
We went to the same college. I barely saw you in school but I knew you secretly looked out for me. You even told me what I was wearing on Washday Wednesday. It seems like I had a stalker, but I knew you and we were friends. We started texting each other, but I easily get annoyed and I wouldn't respond to your messages for days.
You also offered to drive me home regularly. I said yes because you were my friend and I trusted you. You brought me food and you already knew my favorites. You started to know me betetr, and I started to get used to all the things you did for and with me—the road trips, endless talks, and sharing meals with you.
Yet somehow, I knew that those reasons weren't enough to take our friendship to the next level. I apologized and told you that us being together was impossible. I never meant to hurt you, but it would also be unfair to you if I said yes and couldn't even be a proper girlfriend for you.
I know it was not easy for you, but I'm sorry if I caused you a lot of pain. I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for taking you for granted. Don't think that I played with your feelings and took advantage of your kindness, because I never did. We made a lot of memories together and that shows how much I value our friendship.
Lately, I'm starting to miss your texts. I miss your jokes. I miss spending time with you—our road trips, our endless talks, I'm missing them all. I'm missing you.
I feel so stupid for not letting myself love you, because I was afraid of falling in love again. I don't want to get hurt and get played with again. It took a lot of time for me to realize and see the great person that you are. You had everything that I was looking for, but I was blind. I never saw how much you loved me—just like all the messages I read late. You weren't just a friend to me. You became my shoulder to lean on, my one text away, my guy best friend, and the keeper of my secrets.
It's heartbreaking that I already cut the strings between us. Things have changed completely. I should've seen them all, back when the times were good. I need you back. I hope it's not too late.