From Our Readers: I Am My Own Knight in Shining Armor
You were perfect. I love your brown eyes, the mole on your cheek, that weird bump on your right hand that you're so proud of. I love the way you laugh and how you try to be funny. What I really love about you is that you're my dream.
I remember you showing up in front of me for the first time. The way your eyes glistened when you looked at me was magical. I was so nervous because the boy I used to just stare at in pictures is finally in front of me, talking to me. He traveled miles just to spend a day with me. That day was a indeed a fairy tale.
Before you went back to your sword practice, you promised me we'd see each other soon. I thought soon meant the nearest future, tomorrow, next week, next month. Two years have passed and soon never came. Up until this time, I'm still waiting. As I wait, I tell myself, "I just want to be the same person when he comes back." I tried to be like you. I did the things you did, went to places where you went, just so we could have something more in common and something to talk about when you come back. Except that I just had more adventures.
You promised me that we'd see each other soon. I thought soon meant the nearest future, tomorrow, next week, next month. Two years have passed and soon never came.
I've watched you evolved from that lanky boy to a man. So I also took a cup of evolution. "Still the same," I thought. I just added a little sparkle. So in case you'll come back, you'll never leave again to miss a pretty face.
I've always known you were busy. But of course, I've always supported what you loved and I've always been proud of whatever you do. You may not know that, but I really am proud of you. People ask me why I'm still waiting for you, while telling me that there are a lot of boys out there. But they're not you. I've reserved my lips for that kiss you promised, waiting for that feeling. In case you come back.
Waiting kills. I feel like a swimmer deciding to drown. I have the choice to stop waiting for you, and just get over your promises but a promise is a promise. You're just busy with your sword practice. I'm still waiting.
But all of a sudden, you had a girl. She was bony, geeky, and I was nothing compared to her. I tried to be like her. I know you love her and you were mean to leave me hanging. I know you're nice, I know you didn't mean for that to happen. But up until now, I'm still waiting. It's just that I was wrong.
I thought you were my knight, the one who will come again to save me, to give my life some color, to make me feel like a princess. But I'm already a princess, and you can't be my knight. I am my own knight.