Candy Feels

From Our Readers: I Am Moving On from the Unsure

It's just an endless chain of maybes.
PHOTO Sofia Andres | instagram.com/iamsofiaandres ART Naomi Torrecampo

Can you call it a commitment if it's unofficial? Can you call it love if it's unsure? Can you call it a breakup if you really weren't together?

How do you move on from a relationship that never happened, from a love story that was never told, from an almost, from a maybe, from what you thought was supposed to be? How would you heal the wounds? How would you cover the scars? How would you treat the pain of something you don't know the cause of? How would you accept that it has ended if you are not even sure of its beginnings? How would you define a relationship without commitments?

It is so hard to let go for something that ended, but it's much harder to let go of something that you're not even sure of the ending. It is painful to grieve over something that you've lost, but it's much painful to grieve over something that you are not sure of if it was yours to begin with.

Is it wrong to hope? Would it be wrong to wait for a maybe to become a yes, for an almost to become concrete? Is it foolish to call it love? Is it crazy to take that chance? Is it insane to be unsurely happy? And is it stupid to hope that maybe things will all work out?

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I don't know how it started. I don't know how it ended. It's a love that never happened. It's an us that never was. Maybe it's just you and me and never an us. It's all in the past, but my heart contradicted and says that it was real love. I have to move on and pick up the pieces because all these things are nonsense.

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