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From Our Readers: "I Am More Than My Anxiety"

I am more than just a sad girl.
PHOTO Unsplash

I walk the corridors of my school with my head cast down and a weak smile. I hear everything around me. And my mind is trying to figure out how these words that ever so often cross my ears would somehow, someday be used against me.

But I am more than overthinking. I am more than the fears that engulf my thoughts. I am more than the brokenness that everyone sees in me. 

I am a girl with dreams that beat high and mighty. I am a soul trying to figure out life without cracks and holes. I am a deep being with the ability to see beauty even in debris of broken things. I expect more from myself despite being through the extremes. I work hard and jump up the ground to achieve the goals that I have carefully set for myself. I try hard enough to not let everything matter because if I do, I'd end up straight back on the road where I once fell on. 

I try hard enough to not let everything matter because if I do, I'd end up straight back on the road where I once fell on. 

I am a strong individual capable of recoil and picking myself up whenever I am tossed to the seams. I precede the past because I am able to and I have survived the test of time—quivering, aching but I still did. I am more than the dark place that inhabits my mind, I have wishes and dreams that make me shiver in excitement, too. I am just like everyone else, but a little bit scarred.

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I am just like everyone else, but a little bit scarred.

Life has gave me reasons to give up but I didn't. Walking, limping, I carried on and held on. My friends are few but they are gold. I speak less than before but I only utter those that'll blow everyone away. I love afew, because I have learned that love is but a fragile luxury only a few people could give but that everyone grandly deserves. 

I am more than the frown in my face, the tears in my eyes. I am a soul trying to straighten up the mess that I myself have caused. I am broken and lost but I have found myself now and I still continue to, every day.

I regret nothing and if ever I was asked if I could turn back time and fix everything that went wrong, I'd ever so subtly smile and walk away. Because in the misery that I have seen and in the life that I have lived, I know that every little thing thrown my way isn't random; all of it will contribute to my refuge and salvation, to my saving.

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I am more than my anxiety because I can stand and persist even with it clinging to my neck. I am more than just a sad girl. I am a legend, a vicious epic—long, strong, and will be remembered.

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