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From Our Readers: How to Date a Full-Grown Man

He's not for the faint-hearted.
PHOTO Liza Soberano | instagram.com/lizasoberano ART Clare Magno

I bet we all have come across a grown man, but most of us don't like them, right? I totally understand. Admit it, all of us want to be treated like a queen. I love the man I'm with, don't get me wrong; I really do. But being the man that he is and being the woman that I am, it gets exasperating at times. But there's a good side to it, too, you know? Things you probably don't notice because you are too busy focusing on things you don't get out of the relationship. Don't worry, though, because time will come when you'll realize these things.

  1. He is honest.

Pains: I remembered asking him one time if he'll still love me when I gain weight, and like every other girl, I expected a heartwarming "Of course I will!" or "What are you even talking about?" Instead, I got a pause, a sigh and a "You won't get fat," "You shouldn't get fat," and "Will you be happy when you get fat?" Right in that moment, I just wanted to punch him on the face, but that's how mature men are, direct and upfront.

Perks: I make it a point to stay in shape. I'm not sure if his comments got to me, but I know those were part of the reasons why I want to be fit. If he weren't honest, I'd probably live in a very unhealthy way. And I know I won't be happy when that happens. Grown men are genuine and they won't mislead you. Now, I am happy that I'm living a healthy life.

  1. He has plans.

Pains: He is goal-oriented. Sometimes I feel like I have to keep up with him and his pace, but that's just me being influenced by his character.

Perks: I got so influenced by his character that I graduated with flying colors, got good job, and achieved a few things that I'm proud of. I think I'm on my way to reaching my full potential, honestly. Men are not insecure, so they inspire you to be the best. They make you feel that you can go places and grow. And he always has your back no matter what.

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  1. He's a man of few words—and even actions.

Pains: I'm just like every other girl who likes to be swept off her feet, who likes to hear the sweetest words, who likes romance sometimes. But there's something different in grown men. Most of them are realistic and are just quiet.

Perks: Because they're the type of men who are not romantic, you always have something to look forward to. I still get butterflies in my stomach after almost a decade of dating. If he ever says you're beautiful, believe them. They may not say things often, but when they do, you know the words are tru. The spark will always be there, because every experience feels so brand new!

  1. He loves his family.

Pains: He will cancel dates and plans if something comes up that involves his family. Sometimes, that will hurt but at the end of the day, you'll realize that it's one of the best things about him.

Perks: Of course there are more perks of dating someone who genuinely loves his family. Can you imagine your husband ditching you because he wants to be around his friends or whoever more than you and your children? We wouldn't want that, so just hang in there and you will get your turn.

  1. He's confident without being arrogant.

Pains: I've never seen my man jealous. Maybe he feels that way, but he's never admitted it. We want to see our partners feel that way sometimes, right? Because if they don't, we would automatically assume they don't care and that they love us less. 

Perks: We have lives outside our romantic relationships. You can be the best version of yourself because you are free and because he trusts you. They want you to grow, to be happy. They will be your number one supporter, even your number one fan. You'll never resent him; you'll find yourself loving him even more because he's confident enough to allow you to do what you want. They trust you and find no reason to get jealous of anything or anyone.

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