From Our Readers: Falling in Love with the Altar Boy
To be honest, I am not really a church person. There were times I missed the Sunday Mass when I was in high school but moving into this town, I found myself serving the Lord and standing at the altar. That's when I met you. You weren't really the one I expected in my dreams but you appeared and surprised me whenever I close my eyes.
Whenever I saw you in church, I knew there was something about you that made my heart flutter. Your smiles were uncontrollable and contagious. Remember the time you tried to hide them? You knew you should be serious because you were facing the people. And there was also that time when I was one doing the offering and when you saw me, your frown turned upside down. It felt like one of my visions came true.
I would always stare at you when you ring the bells or when you walk in front of me holding the cross.
Call me weird but I love the smell of incense because it reminds me of you. And during the procession, I'd turn my head when the line comes around and we meet and I would see how you'll look back and follow me with your eyes.
Since I started serving the Lord, I always believed that all of these things are His blessings. When you finally became my friend and we would exchange messages, I thanked God that He gave me a chance to meet you. Even though we're apart now, I have grown to love you and I promise you that I always will. Despite my flaws and failures, despite knowing that I can't be the one to take care of you, at least I know in my heart that I will always love you and I will always pray for you, whether you know it or not. You were that guy who made me believe in myself, who made me think I was special.
Sometimes I wonder if you are like Adam and I am like Eve; that I was formed from your rib because the way I feel about you is really deep.
But if we really can't be more than friends, I still want to be part of your life and one day, I hope we'll be part of that circle where we could gather around like brothers and sisters and look back at the past, laugh and smile and remember. For me, I have no regrets. I just hope you'll never forget me because I will still love you until the day I die.