All I hear is the sound of raindrops falling on the rooftop, and I wish I could say I'm missing someone but really, it's just a part of me that I'm missing. I love the rain. I love the sound of raindrops falling on solid ground. I love the smell of the world during the rainy season. It makes me feel emotional, but at the same time happy. It makes me feel me.
It's three in the afternoon and I'm eating my snack beside a window in this cold, rainy day. It's the kind of day that makes me feel sentimental, makes my mind wander in deep thoughts, makes me think of random memories that happened during my favorite years in my life.
I remember that time, back when I was five—those were the times when I knew and I really felt that I belong. Those carefree and innocent moments when I was with my playmates and cousins and all we ever did was play hide and seek and play tag all day. Those times when we never cared about what we do; we just do things because we know we were having fun. Those days when we could still resolve fights with hugs or candies. Those days when anger and cursing weren't even in our vocabulary.
I remember the time when simple things like those could make me happy—how even a single peso could make me smile, a simple magic trick could make me laugh, a slight tickle at my tummy could make me feel good again when I'm down, how the stars in our wrist and in our arms from our kindergarten teacher could make us feel that we're the best people in the world.
I miss those times when the only heartbreaking moment in our lives was when we couldn't watch our favorite show or we didn't have a new toy or the toy that our parents brought home wasn't exactly the same as the one we wanted. Those times when the only pain we knew was the one we got whenever we bruise our knees after we played all day long. Those moments when band-aids were effective to heal our wounds.
I miss being a kid.
I want to turn back time and be a kid again, I want to play under the sun all-day long, go in the playground, and play in the slide. I want to ride the swing back and forth, sit on the seesaw until my butt hurts. I want to dive in the ball pit and fall asleep inside. I want to run outside when it's rainig hard as the raindrops touch my skin. I want to jump from puddle to puddle until I get soaking wet and my mom calls me back inside. I want to play with mudpies. I want to sleep in the couch or at the back of the car and wake up in my own bed. I want to have sleepovers with my cousins and listen to their made up ghost stories, watch movies, and take a bath at the same time.
Just for a day I want to have my innocence again, and not need to worry about growing up. I wonder why adults have to forget what it's like to be a kid, what it's like to be innocent because no matter how old we are there are still a lot of things we are suppose to learn. We are always innocent in some way and maturity is not always the one to teach us what we should learn. In some way, we always need that part of us that's still a child because only a kid knows how to truly have fun.