Every night, I find myself tossing and turning while trying to figure out if we could've been so much more than what we are right now. Every night, I find myself repeatedly asking the same question I've been asking myself since 2013. Every night, I find myself missing you, missing us and missing whatever we had in the past. Every night, I find myself asking, "Is it really all in the past?"
It's been years since we parted ways and normally, one who never meant anything to you would've been simply forgotten over a period of time. But that isn't our case because you meant a lot to me; you meant more than you should've and unfortunately, you still mean a lot to me. If I'm going to be honest, it's all crazy for me because I can't even understand why you—a person who was supposed to stay in the past—could still mean everything to me. Trust me, I tried to forget you and I tried to find a million reasons to give you up, but the heart wants what it wants and my heart wants you, no one else.
I tried to forget you and I tried to find a million reasons to give you up, but the heart wants what it wants and my heart wants you, no one else.
Years passed and in those years, I met new people, got attracted to other guys. They didn't last because I tried to find you in every person I met. And obviously, I failed. I guess that's because there's always going to be one you and you're always going to be the one I want.
After all these years, you're still the one on my mind. You're still the one I think about when I open my eyes in the morning and before I close my eyes at night. You're always on my mind, whether it's a busy day or whether it's a quiet one. And when something happens to me, whether it's good or bad, you're always the first person I want to talk to.
It's still puzzling to me how I dreamt of you after a very long time. What's more puzzling is the fact that after that dream, you came back into my life. I don't know why this happened. I don't know why you came back in the first place, but all I know is that I'm happy to have you back even if it hurts most of the time.
All I know is that I'm happy to have you back even if it hurts most of the time.
It hurts because I'm still hoping that someday, you'll drop everything and tell me that you love me and that you've fallen in love with me. I don't even know if that's possible because I believe it's just me who feels this way. I believe that you'll never reciprocate the feelings I have for you. I want to ask you for closure but then again, how can I ask you for one when we didn't even open a single door? How can I ask you for one when this is all nothing but a one-sided love?
I want to ask you for closure but then again, how can I ask you for one when we didn't even open a single door?
You have no idea how many times I talked to my friends about you and how many times I hoped for you to do the same with your friends. You don't know how many times my friends told me that your actions towards me show that there's something more. You have no idea how hard I'm wishing for us to be something more. And most of all, you have no idea how many times I thought of asking you about what's really going on between us.
I have so many questions for you but if you'll give me a chance to ask you just one, I'll ask you this question because I'm dying to know one thing so I can finally set myself free and have peace: Do we stand a chance?