I am that girl who has the word "fat" always attached to my name. I've had enough of comments like "you could have been pretty if you weren't fat." My friends used to tease my body size, not knowing how humiliated and little I feel every time they do. Before, I acted like I didn't care. But soon came the time when I wanted them to stop.
I started to hate myself because of those comments. I felt ugly because of my body. I socialized less because I lost my self-esteem. The worst was when I came to the point where I did self-harm due to so much self-hate.
At a young age, I've been obsessed with losing weight. I exercised for hours until my muscles felt sore. I starved myself. I only drank water at school and eat one meal a day at home. When I was tempted by food, I would over-eat after days of starving myself. One time, I regretted doing that so I went to the comfort room where I pressed my stomach really hard and forced myself to throw up and release all the food I ate.
I developed unhealthy habits, which I really didn't mind in exchange for a "pretty" body for the eyes of others. After months of tormenting myself and I finally succeeded. I knew I became thinner. I am no longer called fat, and I felt that some people viewed me prettier. However, the comments were still there only, this time, in new versions. They came in and told me, "Why are you so thin? Are you sick?" or "You're so skinny. It doesn't suit you."
At first, those made me question myself. I thought this was the norm. I thought society liked skinny. Was it wrong that I tried so hard to meet their standards? When I was fat, they despised and made fun of my body. When I turned thin, they called me sick. That's when I knew I had enough. No matter how much weight I lost, there was still something to hate.
I came to the point where I felt so fed up of all their remarks that I started shrugging them off. I tried to not really care about what they say anymore. And I am thankful I did. Because little did I know that the time that I stopped caring about what they say was the time I'd finally accept myself.
Little did I know that the time that I stopped caring about what they say was the time I'd finally accept myself.
I developed stomach ulcer and nearly developed eating disorders because of body-shaming. It happened because I let their comments get to me on an emotional level. Soon, I realized I shouldn't have because my body is worth more than their comments.
I started eating healthy. I stopped exercising too much. I wasn't skinny anymore. Sure, I've gained weight. My round arms are back. My belly was no longer flat and the gaps between my thighs are gone, but I am happier. I learned that changing my body won't make me feel loved; accepting my body will. We all have flaws and instead of changing them, let us flaunt them.
My belly was no longer flat and the gaps between my thighs are gone, but I am happier.
We don't live for the purpose of meeting the "standard of pretty" in society's eyes. Don't live to achieve a certain waist line or a particular weight. Instead, work on achieving your "happy" body. Live a healthy life. I learned that whether you are skinny, thick, thin, or fat, your body size doesn't make you less pretty. Your self-worth isn't defined by your appearance.
People should realize that being fat or thin isn't a defect. Someone's body size doesn't make them less capable or less of a person. Let's stop body-shaming. Let's empower one another. and accept the fact that all bodies are beautiful.