Candy Feels

From Our Readers: And Now You Want to Come Back

It's time to walk away from the past.
PHOTO A24 Films ART Clare Magno

I have to be honest with you. Forgive me for not wanting you back. Forgive me for not being able to see you as the person I can spend the rest of my life with. Forgive me for losing the love I had for you and for giving up the hope to be with you again someday. You killed me not only once, but you killed me multiple times. And now, I can say that as you killed me, you killed all the love, trust, and care I had for you. You killed all the memories and all the hopes I had for us in the future.

I think this is the best time to tell you that I don't love you anymore, and I don't see myself loving you again. I'm telling you this right now, because I don't want to carry all these thoughts in my mind every day. I want to get rid of them. I want to get rid of all the things that remind me of how you caused the death of me.

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I think I've done enough. And enough means enough. Enough means to stop. Enough means quit telling me that you want me back. I don't want to be miserable again. I don't want to give what I couldn't give. I don't want you back because I don't want to put myself in the past. I don't want to live there, because I don't want to die again. I want to free myself from the pain and from the person I know I don't deserve.

I don't want you back because I don't want to put myself in the past.

Please forgive me for being wise enough this time to stop loving you and save myself from getting hurt over and over again. I loved you. Please take note of the word loved. May that word remind you of how I did my best to be the best person for you, and how much I loved you, and how you killed me. I'm sorry that I can't anymore be the person who used to pick up the broken pieces you left and to fix things up when you messed up. Thank you for the heartbreak that made me stronger and grow, but forgive me for not anymore having the love I used to give. I'm done.

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I loved you and that's it. I've moved on. No turning back this time.

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