Confession: I meant to watch the first three Jurassic Park movies before seeing Jurassic World, but opening day came and I just couldn't wait to see Chris Pratt in all his rugged glory. So I ended up seeing Jurassic World first, which I immensely enjoyed even if I spent most of the movie with my limbs all contorted and my hands covering half my face, and then spent the long weekend basically the same way as I watched the first two movies. (My heart seriously couldn't take another the third one.)
This Jurassic weekend taught me a few things:
1 Rules may sometimes be meant to be broken, but not in the island where dinosaurs run wild. You willingly walked into a death trap—don't make it any easier for them!
2 A walk in the park, especially this one, calls for comfortable shoes. You know who cares if you look runway-ready while running for your life? No one. Sorry, but no one.
3 Side mirrors speak the truth.
4 So do kids. When they tell you there's a dinosaur outside their window, sometimes there's really a dinosaur outside their window.
5 Basically, listen to the kids. You never know if they're skilled hackers or quick-thinking geniuses. (More teeth!)
6 Bigger isn't always better. More often than not, it's deadlier.
7 Invest in waterproof phone cases if you insist on documenting things like this.
8 Respect > control. Animals as wild as these can never be tamed, only understood.
9 On the other hand, try not to get caught up in the cuteness and refrain from strangling the cuddly dinos. They have feelings, too!
10 When one door closes... it doesn't necessarily keep the raptors out.
11 But glass windows do the trick?
12 Never trust the ambitious scientist. Especially if he's the kind who doesn;t get old!
13 There's danger at every turn. Even the good guys aren't raptor-proof.
14 Never point shiny things at deadly dinos. I must've said, "Turn the flashlight off!" a hundred times during this scene. I mean, giiirl.
15 What she said. JK!