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Author Topic: HELP! Torn between two guys </3  (Read 749 times)

babysharien

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HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« on: February 21, 2013, 02:46:00 PM »
I really need help. :( So, here goes my story: (It's kinda long. Please bear with it.)


I actually have a boyfriend right now. Our relationship is 1 year and 8 months long already. The problem is hindi siya masyadong maeffort tapos minsan, wala ding time para sakin. Effort in a sense na kahit dalawang Christmas, dalawang New Year, dalawang Valentines at isang birthday ko na ang lumipas, wala man lang siyang naibigay na kahit ano. And by kahit ano, I mean kahit candy man lang. :( There are times na parang gusto ko ng sumuko pero kapag ginagawa ko, I keep coming back. I don't know kung dahil ba mahal ko pa siya or ayoko lang mawalan ng boyfriend.

There's this other guy. This guy, I actually met in the site Omegle which is a chatting site where you get to talk to strangers who have the same interests as you do. I've been talking to this guy for a month already and during the entire duration of our talks, I can tell that he's the exact opposite of my boyfriend. He even made a brochure for me when I had a homework for my Multimedia Arts class when I told him I'm not really artistic. Whenever I see him online, I have this certain feeling wherein my heart skips a beat and I smile out of nowhere just by the sight of his name on my contacts. Aside from that, I also feel na kung minsan mas gusto ko pa siyang kausap kesa sa boyfriend ko kapag sabay silang online.

Here's the catch, I'm not really sure if what I feel for this Omegle guy is deeper than what I feel for my boyfriend. Am I feeling this way because he gives me more time or am I really falling for this guy already? Who should I choose? My boyfriend or the Omegle guy? :-\

Hanzo23

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2013, 10:37:08 PM »
Effort in a sense na kahit dalawang Christmas, dalawang New Year, dalawang Valentines at isang birthday ko na ang lumipas, wala man lang siyang naibigay na kahit ano. And by kahit ano, I mean kahit candy man lang. :(

So let me get this straight, the way you measure a guy's attention to you is by the material things he should give to you?

Remember that not all guys are born rich, or have jobs. If he at least managed to spend some time with you, you should learn to appreciate that. Dont count blessings based on the material things that could come your way, remember that suffering comes from the attachment to material things.

Quote
Who should I choose? My boyfriend or the Omegle guy? :-\

Here's something I hope to assume everyone knows. Never trust anyone that you have never met personally, especially in chatrooms like that. Most of the time, if they are nice like that, they have a hidden agenda with you.

No offense, but I cant really believe you'd even consider a guy whom you have never met before, and likely you'll never meet. What would you do then if you break up with your boyfriend and he stops going online?
Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the Gate:
"To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods."

-Thomas Babington Macaulay

PseudoWriter

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2013, 11:47:38 PM »
I really need help. :( So, here goes my story: (It's kinda long. Please bear with it.)


I actually have a boyfriend right now. Our relationship is 1 year and 8 months long already. The problem is hindi siya masyadong maeffort tapos minsan, wala ding time para sakin. Effort in a sense na kahit dalawang Christmas, dalawang New Year, dalawang Valentines at isang birthday ko na ang lumipas, wala man lang siyang naibigay na kahit ano. And by kahit ano, I mean kahit candy man lang. :( There are times na parang gusto ko ng sumuko pero kapag ginagawa ko, I keep coming back. I don't know kung dahil ba mahal ko pa siya or ayoko lang mawalan ng boyfriend.

There's this other guy. This guy, I actually met in the site Omegle which is a chatting site where you get to talk to strangers who have the same interests as you do. I've been talking to this guy for a month already and during the entire duration of our talks, I can tell that he's the exact opposite of my boyfriend. He even made a brochure for me when I had a homework for my Multimedia Arts class when I told him I'm not really artistic. Whenever I see him online, I have this certain feeling wherein my heart skips a beat and I smile out of nowhere just by the sight of his name on my contacts. Aside from that, I also feel na kung minsan mas gusto ko pa siyang kausap kesa sa boyfriend ko kapag sabay silang online.

Here's the catch, I'm not really sure if what I feel for this Omegle guy is deeper than what I feel for my boyfriend. Am I feeling this way because he gives me more time or am I really falling for this guy already? Who should I choose? My boyfriend or the Omegle guy? :-\
Dude, I say don't choose. You have a boyfriend in the first place. MAKE IT WORK. As what I can see is you just saw the things Omegle guy is doing you expect your boyfriend do. It's hard to compare them but you have to make your relationship work. Become outspoken. Try to open these things that bothers you. Baka naman wala siyang budget and try to understand him. And sometimes be dramatic. It works for me. Like when I say "Didn't I deserve to be treated like a Queen? Didn't I deserve to have flowers this Vday?" He tries to make bawi for the next month if he earns cash. Pero kung wala, hindi ko na rin pinipilit. And besides don't base your relationship sa material things you both could give to each other. And masyado pang maaga to label the feeling you feel for this Omegle guy. He might be just friendly? Or sociable? Or he's bored so he chats up with you. YOU NEVER KNOW cause he's just an online friend. If you choose this Omegle guy, are you sure he's worth it than throwing your 1 year relationship with your bf?


THINK TWICE. THRICE or several times. Hindi laro ang love. Hindi rin nabibili ang love. Masyadong mabigat yung word na yun for thinking 2 people at a time. Tell your boyfriend the things you want. Mas maayos ang relationship if you're talking.

babysharien

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2013, 07:44:07 AM »
So let me get this straight, the way you measure a guy's attention to you is by the material things he should give to you?

Remember that not all guys are born rich, or have jobs. If he at least managed to spend some time with you, you should learn to appreciate that. Dont count blessings based on the material things that could come your way, remember that suffering comes from the attachment to material things.

Here's something I hope to assume everyone knows. Never trust anyone that you have never met personally, especially in chatrooms like that. Most of the time, if they are nice like that, they have a hidden agenda with you.

No offense, but I cant really believe you'd even consider a guy whom you have never met before, and likely you'll never meet. What would you do then if you break up with your boyfriend and he stops going online?

It's okay naman sakin kung walang material things. Ang nakakainis lang kasi, everytime we talk about the past, bigla niyang ipapasok kung gaano ka-pampered 'yung mga naging ex niya sa kanya.  As in, 'yung tipong bibilhan niya daw kung ano 'yung gusto, ganun. Tapos kapag sasabihin ko sa kanya na: "Talaga? Ako nga kahit candy man lang, hindi mo mabigyan e.", magsosorry lang siya then his story about his ex continues. Get my point? :)

Regarding naman dun sa Omegle guy, I think you're right. Maybe, kaya ganun 'yung nararamdaman ko kasi napaparamdam niya sakin 'yung gusto kong maramdaman galing sa boyfriend ko.

babysharien

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2013, 07:48:14 AM »
Dude, I say don't choose. You have a boyfriend in the first place. MAKE IT WORK. As what I can see is you just saw the things Omegle guy is doing you expect your boyfriend do. It's hard to compare them but you have to make your relationship work. Become outspoken. Try to open these things that bothers you. Baka naman wala siyang budget and try to understand him. And sometimes be dramatic. It works for me. Like when I say "Didn't I deserve to be treated like a Queen? Didn't I deserve to have flowers this Vday?" He tries to make bawi for the next month if he earns cash. Pero kung wala, hindi ko na rin pinipilit. And besides don't base your relationship sa material things you both could give to each other. And masyado pang maaga to label the feeling you feel for this Omegle guy. He might be just friendly? Or sociable? Or he's bored so he chats up with you. YOU NEVER KNOW cause he's just an online friend. If you choose this Omegle guy, are you sure he's worth it than throwing your 1 year relationship with your bf?


THINK TWICE. THRICE or several times. Hindi laro ang love. Hindi rin nabibili ang love. Masyadong mabigat yung word na yun for thinking 2 people at a time. Tell your boyfriend the things you want. Mas maayos ang relationship if you're talking.

I've tried and tried and tried to open all the things that bothers me.  The problem is magppromise siya sakin na he'll make it up to me.  Sasabihin niya, don't worry, next month dodoblehin ko 'yung effort and time na binibigay ko sa'yo.  Next month, bibigyan kita ng ganito, ganyan.  And then, when the next month comes, wala na. Parang nabaon na sa limot 'yung mga sinabi niya.  And as a girl, medyo masakit  para sakin 'yung mapangakuan ka tapos hindi naman tutuparin. :(

Siguro nga, you're right.  Maybe, nakikita ko lang kay Omegle guy 'yung hinahanap ko sa boyfriend ko.

PseudoWriter

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2013, 01:44:35 PM »
I've tried and tried and tried to open all the things that bothers me.  The problem is magppromise siya sakin na he'll make it up to me.  Sasabihin niya, don't worry, next month dodoblehin ko 'yung effort and time na binibigay ko sa'yo.  Next month, bibigyan kita ng ganito, ganyan.  And then, when the next month comes, wala na. Parang nabaon na sa limot 'yung mga sinabi niya.  And as a girl, medyo masakit  para sakin 'yung mapangakuan ka tapos hindi naman tutuparin. :(

Siguro nga, you're right.  Maybe, nakikita ko lang kay Omegle guy 'yung hinahanap ko sa boyfriend ko.
My other option would be do the silent treatment. Make him feel you've been neglected. Do the reverse psychology. Imbes na magopen ka ng magopen (which some guys would think its nagging) manahimik ka. Ipamuka mo na you're giving him a signal that your relationship has to be a two way street. It won't work the way he thinks. And tell him that promises is too valuable for girls. Ask him if gusto pa niya? Kasi you don't need a guy who takes you for granted.

For the mean time, distance yourself with Omegle guy. Just keep your focus to yourself and your relationship. Tell your boyfriend that there's so many guys who could do better than you but instead you still hope he could do BETTER not promises. Seryosong matter na rin ito kasi apektado ka na. And tell him you deserve to be treated right. :)

Kayanin mo pa, girl! Kakakayanin mo pa. We're here for you. Update ka lang if what will happen. And isipin mo na kahit anong mangyari (this could make or break your relationship) ATLEAST you did try your best.



Trivia: my bf was like this before. He's not sweet at all and he doesn't even give gifts during Vday or monthsaries. Alam mo ginawa ko? I wore the pants. I make him feel special. Lahat ng surprises na kaya ko, ginawa ko. I saved money so I can give something to him. I always ask him to watch movies with me and ask him to visit me at home. You know what he did after? HE CHANGED (but not completely) but it gives me a feeling that my plan works. He starts to save na rin for our upcoming anniversaries. He gives me surprises (usually any plain day, he gives me flowers or gifts) Nagugulat na lang ako. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. Pagpupuhunan mo lang talaga yung relationship ninyo. I don't say do the things I did but remember the rule of doing things to others if you want them to do those things to you.

babysharien

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2013, 01:39:41 PM »
My other option would be do the silent treatment. Make him feel you've been neglected. Do the reverse psychology. Imbes na magopen ka ng magopen (which some guys would think its nagging) manahimik ka. Ipamuka mo na you're giving him a signal that your relationship has to be a two way street. It won't work the way he thinks. And tell him that promises is too valuable for girls. Ask him if gusto pa niya? Kasi you don't need a guy who takes you for granted.

For the mean time, distance yourself with Omegle guy. Just keep your focus to yourself and your relationship. Tell your boyfriend that there's so many guys who could do better than you but instead you still hope he could do BETTER not promises. Seryosong matter na rin ito kasi apektado ka na. And tell him you deserve to be treated right. :)

Kayanin mo pa, girl! Kakakayanin mo pa. We're here for you. Update ka lang if what will happen. And isipin mo na kahit anong mangyari (this could make or break your relationship) ATLEAST you did try your best.



Trivia: my bf was like this before. He's not sweet at all and he doesn't even give gifts during Vday or monthsaries. Alam mo ginawa ko? I wore the pants. I make him feel special. Lahat ng surprises na kaya ko, ginawa ko. I saved money so I can give something to him. I always ask him to watch movies with me and ask him to visit me at home. You know what he did after? HE CHANGED (but not completely) but it gives me a feeling that my plan works. He starts to save na rin for our upcoming anniversaries. He gives me surprises (usually any plain day, he gives me flowers or gifts) Nagugulat na lang ako. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. Pagpupuhunan mo lang talaga yung relationship ninyo. I don't say do the things I did but remember the rule of doing things to others if you want them to do those things to you.

Hi, sis! Nagawa ko ng iwasan si Omegle guy. I haven't talked to him for quite a while na. :)

Unfortunately, I've been trying and doing my best for the past 1 year and 9 months. Today's our monthsary nga pala. Dun naman sa trivia mo, I've done that a lot of times. To the point na, when he liked this pair of shoes sa Adidas, I bought him that. Tapos tuwing monthsary namin, may gift ako sa kanya. I can't help but think na kung minsan, para na akong nagiging bangko. Atsaka, may times din na nangungutang siya sakin. Sasabihin niya na babayaran niya ko the following month pero lumipas na ang ilang buwan, wala pa rin siyang binabayad. Hayy. I really don't know what to do anymore. :(

emskey

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2013, 04:32:55 PM »
Neither. Cause one way or another, you'll end up losing both.

alynnah

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2013, 03:02:13 AM »
If it's a hard decision between two people, choose the second person because if you truly loved the first person you never would have noticed the second person.

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2013, 03:06:48 PM »
Hi, sis! Nagawa ko ng iwasan si Omegle guy. I haven't talked to him for quite a while na. :)

Unfortunately, I've been trying and doing my best for the past 1 year and 9 months. Today's our monthsary nga pala. Dun naman sa trivia mo, I've done that a lot of times. To the point na, when he liked this pair of shoes sa Adidas, I bought him that. Tapos tuwing monthsary namin, may gift ako sa kanya. I can't help but think na kung minsan, para na akong nagiging bangko. Atsaka, may times din na nangungutang siya sakin. Sasabihin niya na babayaran niya ko the following month pero lumipas na ang ilang buwan, wala pa rin siyang binabayad. Hayy. I really don't know what to do anymore. :(
That's nice to hear that you resisted temptation. In your 2nd paragraph, I'm like whutsssss? Sis, the only thing I do if I'm in your position is to tell him straight. Seat and have that serious conversation. Tell him that you don't want to be the enabler and masyado ka ng natatake for granted. What's up with your bf? Di ko lang maintindihan kung insensitive ba yan or ... kakaloka na ah. Sige sis, pagusapan niyo maigi kung anong "trip" niya sa buhay niya at sa relationship niya. Whenever mangungutang siya sabihin mo wala. Tapos i-silent treatment mo na yan! Para magtanda. Hirap sa mga guys, hangga't di mo sinasaktan di kasi matututo. Basta remember sis, wag na wag kang gagamit ng rebound guy, alrighty?



Update me soon! Kaya mo yan, I believe in you.

babysharien

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2013, 08:48:17 PM »
That's nice to hear that you resisted temptation. In your 2nd paragraph, I'm like whutsssss? Sis, the only thing I do if I'm in your position is to tell him straight. Seat and have that serious conversation. Tell him that you don't want to be the enabler and masyado ka ng natatake for granted. What's up with your bf? Di ko lang maintindihan kung insensitive ba yan or ... kakaloka na ah. Sige sis, pagusapan niyo maigi kung anong "trip" niya sa buhay niya at sa relationship niya. Whenever mangungutang siya sabihin mo wala. Tapos i-silent treatment mo na yan! Para magtanda. Hirap sa mga guys, hangga't di mo sinasaktan di kasi matututo. Basta remember sis, wag na wag kang gagamit ng rebound guy, alrighty?



Update me soon! Kaya mo yan, I believe in you.

Alam mo, sis. Ilang beses na naming napag-usapan 'yan e. To the point na sa sobrang inis ko, iiyak na lang ako bigla. hindi ko kasi alam kung pinapahalagahan niya ba talaga ako. Feeling ko, masyado na kong taken for granted. To think na galing siya sa isang well-off family. His dad's a stockholder, his mom has a high position in one of the leading malls in the country, his relatives are a part of the Philippine government. Hindi ko alam kung naglolokohan na lang ba kami. :(

If it's a hard decision between two people, choose the second person because if you truly loved the first person you never would have noticed the second person.

I think I won't choose anyone na lang. Mahirap kasi magdecide lalo na kung hindi mo sigurado kung 'yung nararamdaman mo ba for the 2nd guy is love or kaya mo lang nararamdaman 'yun kasi 'yun 'yun hinahanap mo sa boyfriend mo.  :-\

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Re: HELP! Torn between two guys </3
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2013, 11:16:22 PM »
Alam mo, sis. Ilang beses na naming napag-usapan 'yan e. To the point na sa sobrang inis ko, iiyak na lang ako bigla. hindi ko kasi alam kung pinapahalagahan niya ba talaga ako. Feeling ko, masyado na kong taken for granted. To think na galing siya sa isang well-off family. His dad's a stockholder, his mom has a high position in one of the leading malls in the country, his relatives are a part of the Philippine government. Hindi ko alam kung naglolokohan na lang ba kami. :(
I don't suggest you to do the thing I did. Pero it helped me in the worst case we had with bf and I. Share ko lang so you would understand what this thing meant to my guy. I cut off our connection abruptly. We were on a big fight that time, I felt so burned out with our relationship that time. I texted him everything I was so sick about him. Then I throw my sim card, basically disconnecting my communication with him. Next thing I knew after a day or two he came by my house kneeling and pleading. Then we talked about our situation. Naging matapang lang ako kasi I need to keep my "PAGKABABAE" up high. Relationship shouldn't be a one way street. Tell him that you've working so hard to keep this alive. But if he can't be man enough to keep his pants, he's a jerk for doing that to you.

I wouldn't suggest you to break up with him because I am not in the position to do that. And I don't want your mind be confused with what you feel. What I did is an ultimate silent treatment. Ni hindi alam ni bf if break na ba kami or kami pa. Basta walang text text yun. Tinuruan ko lang siya ng leksyon.

P.S. Watch: STRANGERS, AGAIN in youtube. I swear sis you'll reflect something on this vid. Mabuti pa panuorin niyo ng sabay ni bf.

 

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