Six: Declarations of Love
His words played on and on in my head, everything in me hurts. Every molecule in my body cursed him with spiteful words, every molecule, except that one who is still stubborn enough not to let go.
Margaret and Brent never happened. I think she never knew that he liked her, Brent was afraid to confess, that’s what he said, but I think it was because Margaret likes someone else and Brent didn’t take the chance. Oftentimes I’d think that it was the same for me too, that he was afraid. But there was no one that I like. No one, except him.
I forgave his stupidity that night, there is still time I thought. Time to patch things up and maybe in the process he’ll notice me as the girl he never notices before.
Even if things didn’t go the way that I wanted, there are still memories, that up to now, I allow myself to remember.
Finals came and that day that I’ve been dreading to happen never came, rather God gave me something more inspiring.
I prayed to every saints that I know of, called every angels’ name and even invented one. I called cupid, the angel of wisdom, the angel of intelligence, the angel of memory. I call all of them as I try to remember what places does Region 8 consists. I never really liked history, and our final exam is the hardest. We were ought to fill the blank map with the correct places, I’m on a roll I can answer it without blinking but when I reached Region 8 I panicked. Not a single place or city came to my mind. I looked at the ceiling and stared at the rotating ceiling fan, I felt dizzy. I looked down and my shoes held no answers. I tried to answer Region 9 but my mind is blank. I panicked. Many of my classmates are already passing their test papers; I looked at both sides of me and is relieved that Bee and Zarah hasn’t passed their papers yet. I called the angel of luck; I think he, himself, ran out of it.
I bowed my head down and placed my pen in my head, I can hear my pen telling my brain to work when I look up I saw Brent smiling at me.
“Good luck.” he said.
Results came the other day and I was called first. I have the highest score, I accidentally caught Brent’s gaze and he winked at me, I smiled. He must’ve been my angel.
Days, hours, minutes and seconds past until the last day of the school semester came. Our block decided to plan a party. It didn’t happen the way I always expect it to be, there were no declarations of love, worst he hadn’t talked to me at all that entire party.
When the party is over we decided to just walk back to our dormitories. Zarah, Bee, Drake, Brent and I escorted Margaret home. I looked at Brent and I see the way he looks at Margaret, if they were alone I think he would’ve hugged her. I silently thanked God that they weren’t.
Brent said his goodbye and Margaret hugged Zarah, Bee and me. I suddenly wished that they were alone so that he would not feel this way.
We walk silently on our way home until all that’s left is Bee, Brent and me. Bee turned in the junction and bid goodbye, I almost cried. I’ll miss Bee the most this semester break.
Brent sent me home, when we reached the gate he looked at me and smiled.
“Don’t forget to text and update me, okay?”
“I won’t.”
Silence. He just stood there and I stupidly did the same. At one moment there I thought he would hug me, I silently prayed that he would but the only thing he did was to take my hand and give it a little squeeze.
Semester break came and I am stuck doing nothing and one bizarre night when I think Brent has already forgotten about his good friend Sam I took my phone and texted him something that can change the course of our lives forever.
"I think I'm starting to like you." my hands are trembling as i hit send as the only thought in my mind screams, "Please say it back.
An unfamiliar tired, feeling consumes me until even the very tips of my finger went limp. I didn’t even feel like me anymore. All my thoughts turned into little prayers which I meant so much that it made me ache all over.“Just once.” I kept saying. “Let him answer just once.”
But he didn't.
Thank you Jacky for reading!!! <3
