End of Story
How do you deal a heartbreak?
I had my first ever boyfriend for three years. Everyone says that we're perfect together. He's not the kind of guy who smokes, drinks or attending late night parties. We were actually like romeo and juliet. We write each other love letters, compose poems about our feeling for each other, we sing together (he plays the guitar while i sing or vice versa), we enjoy eating siomai together at our favorite stall, long walks at the park while sharing each other's thoughts so in short, we're like the tom and jerry that even when we fight, at the end of the day we still have each other.
High school graduation came and we're not attending the same school but we trust each other that we'll be able to handle this situation. One night after my class he called me like we always do everyday. He told me that our favorite entertainment show is now airing on TV. Laughing out loud, we were both so happy then i told him that i had to eat my dinner then i'll call him afterwards.(10 mins later) I called him, he's crying while telling me that he wants to break up. I simply asked why and he said he loves someone new, his blockmate. I paused for a very long time because i couldn't believe it's actually happening then i asked him my last question "Is this what you want? If i let you go, would you be happier then?" . my heart was torn when he answered yes. So i said "ok, i love u more.bye" then i ended the conversation.
after 3 weeks i heard that they're together already. a month passed, i'm surprised that he called saying that i'm really different from any other girls he's been with. but he's not trying to get back with me because he's still in a relationship with the girl. He said that the girl didn't want to break up with him. Only to find out that, the girl doesn't know that my ex has been talking to me again. so it means that my ex didn't tell her that he still loves me as what he claims to me. like a roller coaster ride we're spending time with each other again. but we're not committed. So in short, i was like "the third party". then at the month of january, He told me that the girl was pregnant and he is the father. Yet again, I'm breaking to bits.
but he told me that i'm the one he loves, so i stayed by his side. understanding every decision he makes even if it keeps breaking my heart. He's from a broken family that's why i need to understand and as much as possible guide him specially about his baby. His mom asked him to live with his brother in ilo ilo just to cool the situation. then before class starts i decided to visit him there. I spent every inch of my savings just to surprise him. it was all worth it. After 2 days of my trip there he called me saying that he needs time AGAIN! so i gave that to him and changed my number then block him to every account i have. then, i heard that he's in a relationship with another girl again.
But 2 months have passed and he's trying to keep in touch with me. So eventually, we've started talking again and then he broke up with the girl. I thought its the start of a new beginning until he received an e-mail with that picture of his baby and the girl he got pregnant. He cannot resist to be happy as a father so he talked with the girl and she's claiming that my ex will only be able to see and touch their baby if he goes back on being together with the mother of his child.
He said it was the biggest decision he ever made. He chose the girl for his baby. I told him i understand. maybe we were just meant to be together for a while but wasn't destined to live in each others arms. Tears won't stop falling, my heart's still breaking I told him that finally, i'd be able to let him go. I thanked him for every memory i had with him. I told him that he's gonna be a great father. He keeps crying on the other end of the phone, bravely listening to my final message then as i finish he told me that he's sorry for not keeping his pinky swear that he won't break my heart. but he's going to keep the promise that he won't forget me even as we grow older apart from each other. he was my first one great love.
-It's been half a year since we stopped every connection we had. I deleted my facebook account because i don't want to stalk them because i will only make myself miserable. it's been 7 months now since he left the country. He stayed with his mom in US and hopefully earn a living there. The best part was..the girl he got pregnant will continue her college course at the same school i'm currently enrolled. HAHA!!
At this point of my life i'm searching for myself. i wanted to be defined as who i am. I constantly laugh and trying to pick up the pieces that has been broken. My weakness would be the night time wherein out of nowhere i suddenly recall every memory we had. I still cry but not because i still feel the pain but because i thought i won't make it through but look at me now. standing with my own two feet, appreciating every inch of moment that i got to spend with all the people i love and value. I compose songs whenever i think of him so i wouldn't burst to tears. The key in moving on would be creating dreams of your own. imagining yourself achieving those visions you have. Pray for those people who chose to leave you that they may find genuine happiness and thank God for the ones who stayed no matter what. Never expect anything in return, Let LIFE surprise you with it's thrilling adventures that will help you see how beautiful you are inside and out. in time you'll realize that there's more to life. At the right time, perfect moment and exact place. You will meet your ONE TRUE LOVE, he may not be the great one but he's true to his feelings and will not promise or swear anything but will keep surprising you anytime of the day just to make you feel loved in every single way you do.
I hope you, my dear ladies learned something about my "not-so-fairytale" .hahaha!
and i wish all of you a happy heart and pure soul
"don't be afraid of change, sometimes it's exactly what we need to see a clearer vision of life"