A Part of It - Hatching eggs crackle.

[adle]

A loan though old is not a gift.

A gentle tick on the ceiling pulled my sleepy eyes open. Even with the dark curtains blocking the window the chilly feeling tells that rain is quenching the land's thirst.

Sleep won me over last night but still consciousness got the best of me. Lazily, I got off from the bed and saw that the bed cover and pillows thrown all over sign of a restless slumber of the night before. I lightly brushed open the window and watched the street deserted of people. An out of season rain during the summer is really well avoided in the province.

I stared and looked around the house, and just like annoying garbage, flies of memories haunted me every inch of movement I make.

I sat down on the sofa which was left covered with big ghostly cloths and continued the pestering memories of my younger past.

"Mari, wanna go out with us today? The bunch wants to go to the mall." Myla, one of clingy girls in class who approaches me as if she's the next best thing.

"Nah, I have plans with Jin later." I said and gave her a smile which in my body language signifies '!@#$ off'.

I'm completely in a bad moon since the day Jin told me that he started going out with Melis, which was two days ago. I never had the chance to ask him further since it had been impossible to find him. He always disappear after class and while during class he'll have this very cheery atmosphere that to say anything to brake it would be inhumane.

"Oh?" The irritating rat exclaimed, there and then I knew she was up to something. "But I saw Jin leaving with Melis, I heard that they are off to somewhere. Didn't they tell you?" I saw that one coming. I knew she's a bringer of dark wind.

Myla then giggled, delighted that she was able to shame the fairest girl amongst the eavesdropper.

"Yeah, we'll see each other later. It's not like we have to be together all the time. I have a life unlike some people you know." The then smirking face immediately turned sour. Everyone who was listening knows what's behind the lecherous smile that we both wear, both pretentious and unwilling to accept defeat.

I stood up after that and left the herd alone. Leave the battle while you're still winning, one of my motto in life.

I walked calmly and smiled to whoever greets me along the way but the truth of what is inside is far from what I'm portraying outside. I'm shamed by what Myla told me. I had no idea that Jin and Melis went out and though I said that I have plans with him the honest truth is there's none.

Jin is a free spirit and despite the fact that we are very close friends I know that in his dictionary of life there's no need for him to tell me or anyone what he's up to, one characteristic I fell in love with in him. In the past I don't expect him to tell me and 'till now I should not, but I can't help but be angry now. I'm envious and I'm jealous.

I stared back at the mocking ceiling and listened to the morning roosters.

The door opened and bright lights blinded me. My eyes are playing tricks on me.

"Great news, Flo! Melis, Melis is my girlfriend now!"

There stood Jin with the widest smile I've ever seen him wear and on his side was Melis who for so long that I've known never sweetly and shyly smiled. Their shaking hands tightly clasped, showing that each fingers that they have were meant and destined to be together.

Their world started and mine crumbled.

Happiness owes me big time.

[isalicious]

HI SIS.
IM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR UPDATE 

[Lonely Procrastinator]

Post more about their past please. (:

[adle]

By the skin of one's teeth.

I blinked my eyes several times over before the image finally left my sight.

It seems that right now everywhere I go I get reminded of things that very well hurt me. Well shouldn't I be up for this? Since I pushed myself this far up to the point of coming back to this place I might as well prepare myself fully.

I should prepare myself to see those two, they are more than likely to appear since they are both originally from this city. There's no use to be startled by their presence, if I get too jumpy I might find myself sulking in an asylum sooner or later.

I went in to the kitchen and I was glad to find the old refrigerator turned on. I bought some food along the way last night that was still left inside the car.

I found the keys that the lady told me about. The car remains parked out in the street, I better get it at least inside the driveway.

The rain became a light drizzle by now so I didn't mind running outside. The sudden burst of air when I walked out of the house filled my lungs to the brim. The cold fresh scent of the wet soil crept to my nose. Leaves rustled to the light wind and gave off that serene feeling even more.

I took a big gulp or air and hoarded it inside before releasing it back, though coming back here is definitely one of my worst nightmare this beautiful morning scenery just seem to compensate it all.

"Shoot! Forgot to bring slippers!" It was too troublesome to wear any shoes for just a small task of getting into the car so I opt to run outside barefooted. The good sensation just seemed to triple as I felt the coldness of the stone pathway under my soles.

More and more I was feeling better. When I reached the car I was feeling giddier that I fumbled through all the keys in my hand just to end up dropping them in a puddle near the car.

"GREAT! Just great!" It's a good thing no one was walking around to hear me and it seems that my neighbours are still soundly asleep that I can shout as how I did.

"Trouble?" A voice echoed behind me, the baritone voice seemed totally out of place that in fright I found myself joining my keys in the puddle.

"Pffft!" I looked up at the person's face and how it's being contorted from stopping himself from laughing.

I was lost for words to say. I can't find any word to say nor what kind of face to wear. I just mired myself in the puddle and watch him control his laugh up to the point it broke out up until he finally calmed down.

I just stared blankly at him unable to figure out whether to get annoyed in embarrassment or join him with the addicting voice as he fully laugh. But my decision wasn't waited for he finally got a grip of sanity on himself and then offered his hand.

I was completely enamoured by his face that I willingly took his hand and in a blink I was pulled up on my feet. He then reached for my key in the puddle without letting my hand go.

"Need some help?" He asked while jingling the keys in his hand. "Moving the car in the driveway or going somewhere else?" He continued when I just looked at him and made no attempt to speak up.

He just shrugged his shoulder and opened the car.

What I am doing right now should really be what I call stupidity but I can seem to find my own voice and tell it to myself.

"W-WAIT! What are you doing?" I snapped back to reality when I heard the engine starting.

"Starting your car," he said as if I was asking the most moronic question he had ever heard. "So where do you wanna get this car moved? I suppose you don't have any plans of going anywhere wearing that and... looking like that." With a pause he made an obvious sweep of my whole body and being.

I was still wearing my sleeping outfit, it didn't matter five minutes earlier but this guy now makes it the most important thing on the face of this earth. Immediately I made an effort to cover my bra-less torso with a muddied shirt and sweat pants also dripping from the water puddle.

"And since you're a sight I'll be a gentleman and help you to move this car." He said and with a wink he closed the car's door. From outside I saw how he moved as if there's nowhere else in the world he could be more comfortable in.

I watched the car smoothly moved in to the driveway and it must have been a blink when he was in front of me again.

"How can you be so quick?" I ask like a dumb bimbo forgetting all shame and sense.

He chuckled.

"Well... 'cause the free view might be over." And God I wonder when was the last time I blushed?

A cat that loved a fish.

I was helping my mom clean up the house that afternoon when i found this print out lying on my sister's bed.

I remember my sister bawling at it last night. She even came in running to my room insisting that I should read it. She said it was the most heart wrenching story she had ever read, I told her its just because she doesn't read that much.

I flipped through the pages. It was too thin, too thin to carry out any substantial story.

'Whatever, Miss SCHOLAR!'

Each page merely contained a line of two, three at the most.

I want to have wings.

Because I don't have them.

"Why do people want things they don't have?"

I wonder about that too.

Logically is there an answer?

Want is something we desire, distinctive from a need that is necessary. They say we have unlimited wants but we only have limited resources.

'GEEK!'

Was it so wrong to want something?

"You want me, don't you?"

"Yes! I want you so much. And I can't understand why you don't get it!"

I remember his face. His beautiful face that brights up my life ever since which now turns into a hard face I've never seen before.

"Yes, you want me. You just want me."He said sofly as how his face soften again.

"You're not leaving anymore, right? You're staying, right?" Finally I can breathe again, I can smile now. He never can resist me.

I touched his face. And then he cried.

Fear struck me. He's leaving.

NO!

NO!

For two people to know each other in the present,

they must have 3000 encounters in their previous lives.

A cat that loved a fish.

The summer heat can get the best of me. The sun shines brightly outside.

What a laugh.

I put the print out neatly at my sister's study table by the window. As I was about to leave the room, a swift warm gush of wind blew in.

The curtain flew up. And the print too.

The last page was opened.

I wonder who's the cat and who's the fish.

But it doesn't matter.

They can never be together.

-J. Lucas

for Ren

[isalicious]

MORE PLEASE 

[shawty24]

Waaa there it is!!!
this is so exciting!!! lol

[untamed77angel]

Adle! You're back! I'm glad to see you and your stories here in CC again.

[BlackLily]

waaaaa! bitin! si J. Lucas ba si Jin? I am so confused.

Si Jin ba ang nagsabi nito?

Yes, you want me. You just want me."He said sofly as how his face soften again.

[adle]

Even monkeys fall from trees.

When did I lose the person that I was? When did I stop from being that teenage girl to a woman who knows not how to spell young? When?

That guy. He left just after he gave me back my keys.

"Hurry up inside now, you don't wanna catch some cold before things starts stirring up." That's what he said. By what he meant with that, I don't know and I'm not really keen to finding out.

He also left me his baseball cap.

It was still drizzling he might be the one to catch some cold.

'EH!?' What am I thinking? I clapped my hands up to my face.

!@#$, that hurts!

"Whatever!" Morning is well on its way so, I too, must do the things that needs to be done.

First up is breakfast.

Coffee with one shot of milk. Breakfast. Bow.

The sun's starting to shine, might as well be a good day.

I drove slowly when I got to the town center. Now I really realize how much I still know this place by heart. How it got into my heart would be a puzzle I will never be able to put together. No matter how much it changed, new buildings, new street signs, new people, I still clearly know it.

I searched for the spa center that Maki supposedly made reservations for me. I'm giving Maki the benefit of the doubt, maybe she hadn't messed up about this treatment.

What do you know! Everything went well.

If my li'l sister was here I might have given her a big kiss. The treatment just made me feel super fresh... unrotten, a state in which I realized I've been in for some time. If I had known earlier that spa would do me good, even for a little, I would have done it a million times.

For quite a while now, I've been living my life too fast and maybe to fierce. I basically became oblivious to all things around me, the setting and rising of the sun. It's funny even now that I think about it, somehow all things that had been happening for the past months allowed me slow down.

Though slowing down pained me and made me cry... by some means it made me feel human again. Something that I forget every now and then. Not that I think I was too great but... just because.

I breathe in a big lump of air and felt the afternoon sun. It's the same sun that rays down anywhere else in the world but in one way or another it felt a little bit friendlier, a little less scorching.

Maybe just maybe, life would give me a sweeter side now. In any case, they do say that there's nothing wrong or bad about life, it's all in the way you look at it. Changing perspective can make something black into white. Maybe.

late late update,
i just started my new job and had been busy
writing and editing is way over due, begging for forgiveness
 

a note about the short 'a cat that loved a fish':
i wrote that story way before i actually started writing a part of it
it can actually be the conceptual story
so don't think too much about the names.
there's be a couple more like it that will be mixed in with the chapters
short snippets that are somehow connected but not really important to the whole series.

and once again,
thank you everyone for still supporting this repost!
 

[adle]

On the cutting edge.

The dreaded day finally came.

I thought I was all ready for this day but now that I am called for to go there is when cold feet start to get the best of me. My hands never seemed so shaky before and my stomach's pain escalates to infinity by the second. The huge urge to run forth my car and drive away becomes appealing more and more.

I was already next to my car keys when my phone started ringing.

"Sis! Sit down, don't even dare think about it!" It was like my sister was watching me from somewhere. Being sisters for more than two decades sure paid off for her, she basically knows how my mind works.

"Maki, I don't think I can do this."

"Aw! C'mon Mari!" Maki's voice sounded so frustrated. "What can possibly happen there?"

"Things! Things can happen there." I said half pleading by now.

"Look here, Mari. You don't have anything to be afraid of. You're beautiful, you're smart, you're successful, and you didn't kill someone's wife and run off with the husband! So there's nothing to be afraid of nor be ashamed of."

"I know but--."

"No more buts, Mari. Get your hands working on your face now and strut you feet to that friggin' place."

"Maki..." Now I'm pleading as a whole.

"Mari... is it really that difficult? If it's really that hard for you, you can forget about it." Then there was a pause. "But I think you just have to do this. I don't really understand what you're so worried about but I think, I really believe whatever you are afraid of back there, it's about the right time for you to settle it all." After that there was only the beep.

Whatever I am afraid of, must face whatever I am afraid of. Something that I don't even know what.

After almost a decade I set my foot back to this school. Back then, who would have thought that stepping inside its premise would give me chills all over.

The afternoon sky never looked magnificent but still it didn't calm my warring nerves as I make every step up to the hall where all the people gathered.

I am late.

And worse I've not contacted anyone from my batch to inform them that I was coming.

I am single.

And worse for the longest time I was part of the student population I was never single or alone.

Nerve wrecking. But maybe as a gift of my profession and a curse of my personality I walked in to that room as if I own the place. Head high, graceful steps, demure smile, the queen of the batch Mari Floren Guttierez reclaims her spot.

It is not an over statement to say that I took hold of everyone's eyes when I entered despite my fervent wish to not attract attention to myself. Being born me is never that easy.

[adle]

The smile of the Noh mask

.

"Ren! There you are, I almost thought you weren't coming." Calvary started too early.

"Hi, Melis!"

"You look gorgeous!"

"Thanks, but really you are the one who's looking prettier."

"Oh, so you! Come here, the rest of the gang is in here." Yeah, so me, a liar.

Melis, the unsuspecting one, pulled me in to the jungle of people who greeted me one after another. For each I gave a smile or a hi.

"So there's that queen!"

I was struck mute when I saw them all.

They were never my tight knit group but ever since Jin and Melis officially started going out people began flocking with us. From my small world during junior year I became part of a legion during senior year.

How did I manage to live and not be able to talk to all of them for ten years?

I wonder what magic I used to dodge all the invites or all the contacts that this people made.

The talks run endless. Teachers come and by every table, other students hopped from one group to another. I imagined myself talking, laughing, and giggling just how a happy alumna should look like. The picture is perfect, every person who recognizes me would immediately rush to my side just to give out a greeting and a prevent praise as if it was the most important thing.

"I heard you're running a fashion magazine."

"Oh, yeah. I always read that magazine, I was ecstatic when I first saw your name as the fashion editor."

"It's so you!"

Jin laughed which caught everyone's attention.

"S-sorry!" Jin laughed like how he used to.

"Stop that, Jin!" Melis scolded him just like before.

What should I do at this point? Back then, what do I say during this kind of times? I can't remember. And thus, I ended just staring at the two, wondering when they started to leave me behind.

"You're manic, Jin! What are you laughing about?" Jin can't stop himself. He kept on laughing that got everyone roaring, too.

"W-well it because all of you keeps on saying, it's so you... yada yada!" No one understood what he was saying but I did. Melis did.

With that Melis just started to laugh too.

"Hey! We don't get it!" Puzzled looks were on their faces, they looked at me expecting for me to explain the joke that the two are laughing about, a joke that us three should be sharing.

I just smiled.

Jin looked at me.

This is not punishment! I did not do anything wrong! But why? Why do I have to stand up to this? Why do they need to bring up the past? And why do I feel bitter? Why do I feel envious? Why do I feel hatred? Why does he look at me innocently? Why doesn't he know what I really feel?

"Flo, you should tell them why!" Jin said, again with his innocent face who only knows and believes of wretched goodness.

"Shhhh!" In between giggles Melis shushed Jin.

"Nah! It's all in the past... go ahead, tell them all about it." I said with a reassuring smile to Melis.

What is sarcasm when you dress it too well people won't even recognize what it really is? It becomes the perfect dagger for your own chest.

"You see... Flo, during high school have the worst fashion sense."

"No way!" They looked at me. I wonder if they will believe what they are hearing. I wonder if my seducing smile would get them or Jin's non-malicious pure nature.

"I know, eh? I was quite shocked myself!" I just smiled as if everything that was being said doesn't mean anything. But I did fake a blush, if I hadn't been a bit embarrassed it would look like Jin was lying.

A neurosurgeon I once met mentioned that the things we clearly remember are the ones that induced the greatest fear or the greatest anger.

That being said, it seems that my life is but a clatter of fear and anger, everything just look all too clear.

[adle]

Hatching eggs crackle.

There were immense laughter and I found myself faking one laugh after another.

Maki, I can't believe you talked me into attending this hell!

"Enough about that!" I said warily while still keeping my not-so caring facade. I can't take it no more, even if it is you Jin, I can take only so much.

"Hahahahaha! Yeah, drop it. Our Queen in here is getting embarrassed." That was Lito.

Now that I mention him, it really is quite nostalgic to see him and the other's faces.

They are the group of people I never even gave a second look back when I lavishly soak with Jin's attention. I could not need anything more than that. And yet they came.

Lito who basically is not known to most of the school populace but is quite famous when it comes to our senior's circle, he's quite into the year ahead of us too. But he never had the touch for younger students, that's why one of his greatest let down during graduation was not having his fill of being called 'Kuya' by our cute lower years.

"Ren is famous now for being the 'it' girl in fashion, no use to talk about that." That was Carol, when Melis and Jin started dating she was the next girl I hang out with, well that is if I was not with one of my boyfriends. She's part of the senior's org those days, a force election. Everyone wanted to make her the president but she cursed that she'll ruin all trips if they give her that position so in the end she just became the muse who ended up doing more than she's suppose to do. I think she was the one who terrorized all section head when it comes to paying fees for the grad events. The work of the muse?

"Yeah, like how we shouldn't talk about Carol's infamous beauty pageant!" Amorsolo, aka Sol, as I've heard so far is that Sol and Carol got engaged once upon a time. They never dated back in our high school days, they weren't even teased with each other nor have unusual mutual hate or anything but somewhere in the spin of time they became a couple and got engaged to be married but also somewhere in that time they split and called off the wedding. No one really knows why and I lived too far from them after high school that I can't even make a guess to what is the reason.

"Betcha, that's the time you fell for her, am I right?" Katrina, our little pompous bunny, the self-proclaimed 'the next big thing' in showbiz during high school but ended up to be a lawyer, how she got there is another mystery for me. One thing I am sure of is that she's one of the best to dodge off any tricky question, a talent which might have been an asset for showbiz or court room, your guess is as good as mine.

"Nah, she was a beauty that time but not really to catch my Casanova heart." Sol exaggeratingly said.

It was Carol who laugh out loud first followed by everyone, of which includes me though I didn't find it a bit funny. I'm confused on how well they ignore those comments as if it was nothing when they were once upon a time a couple that broke up for some reason God only knows what.

Sitting next to Carol on our round table is Maxim. Can you guess his/her gender? No? Well I can't blame you for that, I for one, gets all confuse too. When we were in our junior year he was a guy getting in every girls panties but the next year she was all over guys getting hanky panky everywhere. I was in the verge of calling him/her bisexual but he/she would always correct anyone who dare say such 'malicious' things. Well, yeah maybe he/she isn't 'bi' because 'bis' jump from one gender to another but for him/her he/she sticks to one sexual category in a period of time as if its his/her in born gender. I was informed later that year that for his/her past previous years he/she had been doing that, changing genders. The only thing that keeps you in believing that 'it' is still the same person is that no one, as in not another single person in this planet could be as clumsy as he/she is. He/she can trip on anything or even when alone on an empty space, spill something so steady a child won't even tip out, crash to the biggest and most noticeable things. I never got to learn his/her real name. His/Her current gender at the moment is male... I think.

Then there's Derick big laugh big voice. He's very proud of his musical talents, can beat up anything and make it music, can say any gibberish and make it a song, can hum any tune and make you fall in love with it. But in spite of all that, we were never really close. He's quite cute and on the league of someone I would date during my younger year, that's why. When Jin dated Melis I suddenly have this animosity with friends dating another friend. That's when ex's stopped being friends and friends can't be boyfriends, made my life easier but made the young boys miserable.

Kevin, sitting beside me is the guy who's comfortable with much like everyone. Aside from Jin he's the only guy who had ever leaned on me except from my previous boyfriends, he's too innocent back in those days that you just can't turn him away. But he doesn't look all too innocent now with his lean body, he said he's working as a fitness instructor now and even became a body builder along the way. Far too much muscle in my opinion.

And finally there's Gabo whom I was in the brink of dating when Jin and Melis announced their coupling, I was just inches away to telling him 'yes'. If we dated for even a minute he wouldn't have made it into this group.

These people and me, we are about to open new pages for our lives.

Does fate allow signs for crossroads?

[shawty24]

"Does fate allow signs for crossroads?"


I do hope so coz i need one... ^_^
nice up... 

[isalicious]

Update <3
Namimiss ko na to basahin