can't take this anymore

[prettybabe_012]

here's the situation.. my mom is in abroad well we're a broken family. My mom and dad have their own families and i'm living with my granny. My mom has a problem with her husband. her husband is cheating on her and to think that the mistress is her friend. right now she's pregnant. 4 months, while she's carrying the baby they always fight and my step dad is  hurting her physically. they think that the girl is using gayuma with my step dad because i know him. he's kind and evrything.. he's really great but all of a sudden he changed. what should I do? i'm the only daughter and it's so affecting me. i don't know how to get rid of that f*cking girl..help me please..just to inform you guys they live in abroad.. and it's turning in financial crisis because of that. I stopped in school because of this. how can i help? i want to find a job but I don't know where. call center? food chain? whatever job.. I just need it badly.. I can take it anymore..please help guys.. I'm a 2nd yr college student and I don't know what job can suit me and how can we solve this problem..

[peachykeenjillybean]

hi sis, well i dont exactly know how to start this but for your mom's sake, take care of her. especially now that shes's pregnant. i know it is kinda hard because shes working abroad. Pero the only thing you can do is, always let her know that your always always there for her no matter what. Your step-dad is bad. im sorry to say this, pero personally- as what you have said - i think he is only because he hurts your mom physically. i dont want to judge him pero i just think na masama talaga pag pinagbubuhatan ng kamay ang asawa lalo na at buntis sya dba? kawawa naman mama mo. Although your miles away from her, pagdasal mo lang sya. God will help you alam ko di ka nya pababayaan. Paramdam mo na andyan ka para sakanya.
And for your own good sis, your looking for a job? marami dyan. wag kang mag give up pero kung maaari nga sana pag aaral muna atupagin mo eh. pero isa pa, advice ko lang. wag kang hahawak sa patalin.
good luck sis,
always remember. andito lang kami 

[Hanzo23]

I'll be honest about this issue, there isnt really much you can do, if the husband is doing the adultery, then the only real thing to do is to press charges. Plus the husband's demeanor to your mom is unacceptible.

Violence is the absolute last resort if nothing else settles arguments, and even in such cases, restraint should still be practiced since men can really hurt people around them if they go berserk. My advice now since there is a distance barrier between you two, is to provide moral support, call her as much as you can, no matter how brief, hearing the voice of someone who really cares helps the morale of the person to endure whatever hardships he/she has to face

As for you, jobs are always around. If you use your resources wisely, you can turn this into your advantage, being a working student can either be hard or fun depending on which perspective you choose to look.

Lastly, dont be miserable about the husband's shortcoming, you have every right to be angry but remember that anger is one letter short of danger. Triggering hate not only will affect you, but everyone who you interact as well. Instead just focus your energy on praying for your mom to have the strength to endure.

To close, here's a quote from the movie "First Knight" I always whisper it before I make a life decision ;

May God grant me the wisdom to discover what is right, the will to choose it, and the strength to make it endure.

[prettybabe_012]

hi sis, well i dont exactly know how to start this but for your mom's sake, take care of her. especially now that shes's pregnant. i know it is kinda hard because shes working abroad. Pero the only thing you can do is, always let her know that your always always there for her no matter what. Your step-dad is bad. im sorry to say this, pero personally- as what you have said - i think he is only because he hurts your mom physically. i dont want to judge him pero i just think na masama talaga pag pinagbubuhatan ng kamay ang asawa lalo na at buntis sya dba? kawawa naman mama mo. Although your miles away from her, pagdasal mo lang sya. God will help you alam ko di ka nya pababayaan. Paramdam mo na andyan ka para sakanya.
And for your own good sis, your looking for a job? marami dyan. wag kang mag give up pero kung maaari nga sana pag aaral muna atupagin mo eh. pero isa pa, advice ko lang. wag kang hahawak sa patalin.
good luck sis,
always remember. andito lang kami 

yes tnx.. i'm thinking nga na pakulam nlng ung babaeng un eh.. hayy..
the thing is sobrang sama ko. kasi even na ganun ung situation nia ako pa ung nagaglit because I stopped in school. sinumbatan ko pa xa and my tita told me that she cried when she read my email. gezz. i don't know how can i help her.. i don't know how can I make it up to her.. magisa lang xa dun.. far away from us.. and walang nagaalaga sa kanya dun.. that f*cking b*st*rd.. mamatay na san siya..arghh.

[prettybabe_012]

I'll be honest about this issue, there isnt really much you can do, if the husband is doing the adultery, then the only real thing to do is to press charges. Plus the husband's demeanor to your mom is unacceptible.

Violence is the absolute last resort if nothing else settles arguments, and even in such cases, restraint should still be practiced since men can really hurt people around them if they go berserk. My advice now since there is a distance barrier between you two, is to provide moral support, call her as much as you can, no matter how brief, hearing the voice of someone who really cares helps the morale of the person to endure whatever hardships he/she has to face

As for you, jobs are always around. If you use your resources wisely, you can turn this into your advantage, being a working student can either be hard or fun depending on which perspective you choose to look.

Lastly, dont be miserable about the husband's shortcoming, you have every right to be angry but remember that anger is one letter short of danger. Triggering hate not only will affect you, but everyone who you interact as well. Instead just focus your energy on praying for your mom to have the strength to endure.

To close, here's a quote from the movie "First Knight" I always whisper it before I make a life decision ;

May God grant me the wisdom to discover what is right, the will to choose it, and the strength to make it endure.

tnx for the advice..

i'm really a bad daughter instead na intindihin ko xa.. di ko magawa. well, hindi ako lumaki sa kanya i'm with my granny since childhood so i really don't know how can I understand her.. hindi ko alam kung bakit pinagtitiisan niya pa ung lalaking un. i told her na iwanan na nia un.. but she don't want to listen. i really don't know what to do..

[Hanzo23]

tnx for the advice..

i'm really a bad daughter instead na intindihin ko xa.. di ko magawa. well, hindi ako lumaki sa kanya i'm with my granny since childhood so i really don't know how can I understand her.. hindi ko alam kung bakit pinagtitiisan niya pa ung lalaking un. i told her na iwanan na nia un.. but she don't want to listen. i really don't know what to do..

To be honest this is your mom's decision, one of my ex-gf's mom is also like this, her dad was very stern/strict and sometimes hits her mom. Pero dahil the mom loves the husband, hindi nya talaga maiwanan. What I told her (my ex-gf) is since you arent ready yet to make it on your own, you have to finish your studies, this is a must. In the real world, the only chance you have of surviving is to have an advantage over your competition. Im not sure of what college degree you are going to take, pero make sure that it counts. This in turn, once makita naman na ng mom mo na you can stand on your own two feet, then you can justify na she can live with you. To give you a hint of what degrees to hunt for, from what I read; Medicine, Renewable energy sciences & Information security jobs are in demand for the next decade or two. Research this and choose which market you wish to offer your services.

As for you being a bad daughter, people can change. To your parents, whatever you have done wrong, anak ka pa rin nila. They will always forgive you, and you should always be there for them. I've read the posting you placed on "what your family doesnt want to know about you" about what you did with your tuition fees. Im not gonna say that what you did was wrong, because you already know that. Rather, what I should say is that hopefully now you understand that the most precious commodity that young people have, "TIME". Once you spend this on something unuseful, you can never get it back. So use the time and resources you have wisely. Remember this quote "The only way to get out of a hole is to stop digging"

Good luck!

[aning!]

to be honest, you really can't do anything to make your mom and stepdad's relationship ok.
matanda na sila, alam na nila ginagawa nila. just be around for your mom. and btw, if he's physically abusing her you should prolly tell your mom to go home.

[kends]

Well, sis. To be honest, labas ka sa problem nila.
Away mag-asawa yan. But since affected ka, concern mo na din sila.
Try to talk to them muna. Communicate.
Kapag wala talaga, they are leaving you with no choice but to report your dad to the higher authorities.
Adultery + Physical Abuse = Long time in prison.

Mali na kasi siya e.
Tama si aning!, just be around for your mom.

[pach]

I hate to admit this but there's little you can do. The helplessness that you feel must be very devastating for you. I'm sorry bout the whole thing, but if you can persuade your mom to go back or write her emails expressing your consolation, if that makes it any better, then please do so.

[prettybabe_012]

To be honest this is your mom's decision, one of my ex-gf's mom is also like this, her dad was very stern/strict and sometimes hits her mom. Pero dahil the mom loves the husband, hindi nya talaga maiwanan. What I told her (my ex-gf) is since you arent ready yet to make it on your own, you have to finish your studies, this is a must. In the real world, the only chance you have of surviving is to have an advantage over your competition. Im not sure of what college degree you are going to take, pero make sure that it counts. This in turn, once makita naman na ng mom mo na you can stand on your own two feet, then you can justify na she can live with you. To give you a hint of what degrees to hunt for, from what I read; Medicine, Renewable energy sciences & Information security jobs are in demand for the next decade or two. Research this and choose which market you wish to offer your services.

As for you being a bad daughter, people can change. To your parents, whatever you have done wrong, anak ka pa rin nila. They will always forgive you, and you should always be there for them. I've read the posting you placed on "what your family doesnt want to know about you" about what you did with your tuition fees. Im not gonna say that what you did was wrong, because you already know that. Rather, what I should say is that hopefully now you understand that the most precious commodity that young people have, "TIME". Once you spend this on something unuseful, you can never get it back. So use the time and resources you have wisely. Remember this quote "The only way to get out of a hole is to stop digging"

Good luck!

tnx hanzo.. you really enlighten me. Nwei m a 3rd yr college student taking up a engineering course. well as for the update my mom decided to send me abroad for us to be together. I'll be staying with her for 3 years. What i'm planning is i'll work first and save some money. after I get back here in ph i'll be studying in an airline school. I decided I want to be a flight attendant. I don't know if this plans are going to work but i'll try. I don't think I can stand seeing that b*st*rd.

I dont know if this sounds crazy but my mom told me that the mistress use gayuma to my step dad. I don't know if this true..what do you think?

am i really bad are'nt I?..

[prettybabe_012]

to be honest, you really can't do anything to make your mom and stepdad's relationship ok.
matanda na sila, alam na nila ginagawa nila. just be around for your mom. and btw, if he's physically abusing her you should prolly tell your mom to go home.

i think hindi siya uuwi. she love being there..and besides she's bearing a child..cguro she still wants her/his baby to know her/his father. Hay. sometimes gs2 ko siyang sisihin kung bkt pa siya nagpabuntis dun..haist

[prettybabe_012]

Well, sis. To be honest, labas ka sa problem nila.
Away mag-asawa yan. But since affected ka, concern mo na din sila.
Try to talk to them muna. Communicate.
Kapag wala talaga, they are leaving you with no choice but to report your dad to the higher authorities.
Adultery + Physical Abuse = Long time in prison.

Mali na kasi siya e.
Tama si aning!, just be around for your mom.

tnc for the advice sis..

[pach]

hello there. basically, wise advices have already been given to you by the fine and great people above me, so i need not give you more.

i may not give you pratical advices about your parents' problem but i would like to share with you a truth about yourself: you're not as bad as you think you are, so dont wallow in self-pity okay?

be at peace with yourself, and fly to God because in times of distress, only He can give you the peace such that the world can never give. We're never too bad for Him, always remember that.

Once you realize this, you will look at your problems as opportunities to be a better person.

and most important of all, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas!

[Hanzo23]

tnx hanzo.. you really enlighten me. Nwei m a 3rd yr college student taking up a engineering course. well as for the update my mom decided to send me abroad for us to be together. I'll be staying with her for 3 years. What i'm planning is i'll work first and save some money. after I get back here in ph i'll be studying in an airline school. I decided I want to be a flight attendant. I don't know if this plans are going to work but i'll try. I don't think I can stand seeing that b*st*rd.

I dont know if this sounds crazy but my mom told me that the mistress use gayuma to my step dad. I don't know if this true..what do you think?

am i really bad are'nt I?..

At this point in time, it really wont matter what trickery the mistress used on your mom's husband. You really shouldnt care either. What you should focus your attention on is your top priorities, get a degree, get a career, with this you'll have your feet firmly on the ground and you can support your mom and as a bonus you can even set her for early retirement! What kind of parent would not want something like that? Especially if your gonna tell them its your turn to take care of them? That is my plan in life and I gladly shared it with you. Hopefully you follow a similar path.

Whatever you did in the past or present, dont let it bother you anymore. Make a personal ritual, write down all your vices in a piece of paper and have your closest family and friends gather around as you burn it as a sign of change. Tomorrow, you will strive become a better person. Give yourself a pat on the back whenever you do. Then your real journey through life begins.

Good luck!

[prettybabe_012]

hello there. basically, wise advices have already been given to you by the fine and great people above me, so i need not give you more.

i may not give you pratical advices about your parents' problem but i would like to share with you a truth about yourself: you're not as bad as you think you are, so dont wallow in self-pity okay?

be at peace with yourself, and fly to God because in times of distress, only He can give you the peace such that the world can never give. We're never too bad for Him, always remember that.

Once you realize this, you will look at your problems as opportunities to be a better person.

and most important of all, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas!

tnx a lot pach!.. merry xmas too.,.