Revenge 17Selfish Side of LoveRIA’S POVMaybe it’s time to make my presence felt.It has been two days since I was left alone here in our condo. Alex has been staying at our cousin Patrick’s house for the past few days. We usually spend Christmas together but this time around, I’ll be flying to Canada to spend it with our parents. Alex refused to come and Mom and Dad said it’s fine.
I really needed that trip to ease my mind. I’ve been deciding recklessly about some major decisions in my life. It was like I was neglecting the use of common sense lately. I make up my mind haphazardly without give it any second thoughts. I’ve been stupid, I’ve been selfish, I’ve been a moron—a moron to the nth degree.
I’ve been the dumbest and the most selfish person for the past years.I went to my room then lay sidewards on my bed. The first thing that caught my eyes was the photos on my bedside table. In it were lots of photos of me and Alex when we were much younger, pictures of Lex and I when were so happy and in love.
I raised myself slightly so I can reach my photo with Alex. I’ve been such a bad sister to her. I may not do anything wrong to her physically, but I am the cause of her emotional pains. I’ve been selfish to her. I’ve taken her happiness away.
-
“Aba, you seem happy, Alex.”
“Happy talaga ako, Ria.”
“Care to share, sis?”
Alex, my one and only sister. From the moment our parents left for Canada, our bond as sisters strengthened. We became best friends, inseparable as hell. We were present in each others’ life, not hiding a secret from one another.
“Tanda mo ba yung manliligaw ko na four years older sa’kin?”
“Yup. Andy yung name niya, di ba?”
“Uh-huh. I’m really, really happy, sis.”
“Ano ba kasi yun, Alex? I’m getting excited too!”
“Make a guess, Ria!”
Hmm. Wait, let me decode it. My sister is happy, she speaks about that Andy guy. Wait. Kulang pa rin eh.
“More clues, please, Ria.”
“Magkasama kami kanina. Oh my gosh, Ria. I really am so happy!”
“Teka, teka, mas lalo naman akong naeexcite, eh.”
“Okay, last clue na ha. Hindi niya na ako nililigawan!”
OMG. OMG. OMG. Does that mean sila na?
“Kayo na?!?!?!”
Tumango siya ng tumango. I rushed to her and hugged her. Gahd, I’m so happy for her! Alam kong first time niyang magka-boyfriend kaya I’ll support her all the way.-
But I failed in giving the support I vowed to give her. I was engulfed by the selfishness I have in me. I let my pride go over me. I forgot about my sister, my best friend. I took away her happiness, her life for the moment.
They never knew that I knew about their relationship. It knew it half way through. I knew about Alex and Lex being together. That’s why I purposely avoided meeting them together. Good thing I haven’t introduced Lex to Alex.
I ripped them apart. I made Alex hate him so I can have Lex all for myself.
-
Ngayon ang opening ng bar na tinayo namin Lex. I’m excited. First venture ko ito sa business at kapartner ko pa ang love of my life ko. Sana siya na rin ang kapartner ko for life.
Tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko at sumilip sa bintana. Kita ko ang mga nangyayari sa labas, sa parking lot to be specific.
Nakita ko si Lex na nakasandal sa kotse niya. Nagpapalipas siguro ng oras sa labas. Just in time, dumating din si Alex. Pagkababa niya ng taxi, may kinawayan siya from someone sa parking lot. Patakbong pinuntahan niya yun tapos nag-usap sila.
It was Lex, my boyfriend, which happens to be Alex’s boyfriend, too. I knew about it months ago. I saw their pictures sa laptop ni Alex. I was shocked sa nakita ko pero I didn’t say anything about it. On the rocks ang relationship namin ni Lex sa mga panahong iyon kaya siguro naghanap siya ng iba. Ang sa akin lang, bakit ang kapatid ko pa? Pero kahit kapatid ko pa siya, hindi ko mapapalagpas yun. What’s mine is mine.
Oo, selfish ako. Selfish ako dahil mahal na mahal ko si Lex. Akin lang si Lex. Hindi naman kailangang malaman ni Alex na alam ko. I’ll continue pretending I don’t know a thing.
Binalik ko ang atensyon ko sa kanilang dalawa. Hinalikan ni Lex si Alex tas inabot niya yung bouquet kay Alex. Nagsimula na silang maglakad papasok sa bar. At iyon na rin ang cue ko para ipakita kung ano ba talaga ako sa buhay ni Lex.
Nang makababa na ako ng office ko, nakita ko silang kakapasok lang ng bar. I plastered a sweet fake smile on my face.
“Para sa’kin ba yan?”
Tinutukoy ko yung bouquet na hawak ni Lex. It was the same bouquet that he gave Alex. I took it from him and pretended to smell it. Again, I gave them a fake smile.
“Ang sweet talaga ng Lex ko.”
I kissed him in front of Alex. Alam kong nagulat siya sa ginawa ko. Siguro iniisip niya bakit ko hinahalikan ang boyfriend niya. Ano namang masama dun kung boyfriend ko rin naman ang boyfriend niya?
I’m just marking my territory. Lex is mine, mine and mine alone.
“`Seems like the two of you already know each other. Pero I want to introduce the two of you formally. Alex, I want you to meet Lex. Lex, this is my sister, Alex. Alex, si Lex yung boyfriend ko for three years now.”
I even emphasized the word three years. I want to let her know where she stands. Ako ang nauna kaya kahit ano pang gawin niya, ako pa rin ang original.
“Hi, Alex. I’m Lex. Finally, we meet. Palagi kang kinukwento nitong si Ria.”
They shook hands as if they met each other for the first time. I smiled victoriously. Seems like I won the match. Lex is still mine.
“I’m so happy na finally nakilala mo na rin si Lex, sis.”
“Masaya rin ako.”
Masaya? But her face tells otherwise. Nangingilid na yung luha sa mga mata niya. Malapit na talaga siyang maiyak. Who wouldn’t right? Hindi ka ba maiiyak kung nalaman mong pareho kayo ng boyfriend ng ate mo? Manhid lang ang makakagawa nun.
“Ay, wait. I have to check something sa office ko. Lex, ikaw muna bahala sa sister ko ha? Wag mo yang papaiyakin.”
“Sure.”
Wag paiiyakin? Ang lakas ng loob kong magsabi nun, eh, ako naman ang may kasalanan kung bakit umiiyak siya. Oo, guilty ako pero sorry na lang siya. Kahit kapatid ko siya, mahal ko si Lex at hindi ko kayang i-give up ang lalaking yun.
He’s mine and I don’t have any plans to throw him away.
-
Hindi ko napansin na umiiyak na pala ako. Oo, alam ko naging selfish ako nang dahil sa pag-ibig. Para ko na ring pinatay ang kapatid ko. Pinagkait ko sa kanya yung tanging kaligayahan niya. Ako at ang madamot kong sarili.
Ang tanga tanga ko. Mula noon hanggang ngayon. Ang sabi ko noon, hindi ko papakawalan si Lex pero malapit ko nang maabot ang pangarap ko, tinanggihan ko pa. Sabi nga nila, tinapay na naging bato pa.
Niyaya na akong magpakasal ni Lex. Sa anim na taon na pinagsamahan namin, ngayon ko pa naisipan na subukin si Lex. After the episode with Alex, alam kong ako lang. Pero ano ba ang ginawa ko? Tinanggihan ko ang alok niya dahil gusto kong malaman ang sincerity niya. Gusto kong malaman kung ako na lang ba talaga.
Naguguluhan na ako sa sarili ko. Binabalikan ako ng guilt na nararamdaman ko sa ginawa ko kay Alex. Nagdadalawang isip ako sa ginawa kong pagtanggi kay Lex.
Ano ba talaga ang gusto mo, Marie Alixia Fernandez?
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