CHAPTER 36
"Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away."
:~Evita~:
***Samantha's POV***There, standing by the entrance, was
Lucy, and she was wearing something that
wasn’t out of the ordinary.
I mean, I know Lucy ever since our freshman years, and I’ve always seen her wearing those baggy jeans, oversized shirts and those entire
tomboy outfits that one could ever think of. She’s not a tomboy; she’s just more into the guy’s sense of style. But, but, but! I’ve always known how she
hated wearing girly threads.
And the actuality that now, she’s wearing that tight and short top, pleated skirt and knee-length fur boots is really a shocker. She’s even wearing make-up—heavy make-up.
I hate to say this but she looks like a
prostitute.Thrift shops can be good but she totally had no idea of real fashion sense.
“Lucy…” I mumbled..
“Now that’s a sudden bomb released,” Matt cried out,
“Is that really Lucy? Is it really her? Or am I imagining things and seeing another transferee who might be working as a prostitute overnight? !@#$! I should stop drinking caffeine!”Cindy waved her hands, motioning towards Lucy,
“Hey girl, what’s up with the new get-up? Trying a new look? Come over here babe! Get your big and surprisingly sexy ass in here!”Mark and Erica exchanged mild giggles.
But as I fearfully expected, Lucy flashed an aggravated look and continued walking down the front.
All of us exchanged looks, except Mark who looks a little
too flustered.“Heeeeey, Lucy, what’s wrong?” Erica drawled. A lot of our classmates were already throwing looks at Lucy and us. Luke on the other hand watched in idle fascination at the little commotion.
Lucy faced us again, and this time, she had a
wicked grin on her face. And as what I didn’t expect it to be, she raised her hand and gave Erica the
middle finger. 
I gulped.
Now that’s too much.
Everyone in the room started murmuring louder.
“WHAT THE !@#$!?” Mark suddenly bellowed.
Mark really dislikes the finger.
“So that’s it, huh? How dare you, little !@#$! You just wear that bootylicious outfit and you’re going to ignore us and give us that finger? DAMN.” Mark exclaimed,
“I think you have something to explain to us, we need to talk or if not, we could do this physically and painfully, yesss, physically would be better. Damn, I so hate you right now for doing that silly mi—”I took hold of Mark’s arm,
“H-hey…”“Mark… Settle d-down…” Erica mumbled. I looked at her, and saw that she was trying hard not to show that she was affected, offended, and shocked.
“Of course, I won’t do it,” he muttered, and then he looked once more at Lucy whose back was now turned to us,
“Damn, what’s wrong with people nowadays? It must be global warming…! It must be…!”I watched in concern as Erica tried to soothe him down. Mark is the person who always gets terribly upset when one of us in the group is in a bothersome state… and we all get anxious when he does, especially since he has that
heart problem. Yes he has a heart problem.
Being the usual party pooper, Mr. Solar barraged into the room and we all went back to our seats in a tense hush.
Mark was extremely looking either down, aggrieved or irritated. Erica and Cindy were plain worried. Luke… seemed to be baffled about what’s going on—not knowing what exact emotion he should show, but I bet it isn’t much of a crisis for him.
I didn’t have the enthusiasm to listen to Mr. Solar, so I only stared at Lucy as she sat in her usual seat in front… and I sighed.
What’s happening? I don’t know what to do or what to think anymore.
***Samantha's POV***A weekend.
A day perfect for a good slumber.
A very long, nice, slumber.
BUT here I was, spending the day with the ogre
AND my dad and my brother and Criss. Here I was, nicely dressed, and strolling around the town square in a trance. It’s giving me a weird feeling to be with these four important men in my life—I mean,
two important kin-men in my life, and
one equally important lil kid and
one misconstruction in my life.
Let me take you back a day before today.
This was the scenario:Dad barraged into my room just before I was about to sleep. It was a noisy ‘barrage’ because he carried with him a picnic basket, pans and a baseball bat—he even has the red-and-white picnic blanket as his cape.
”Sammie! My daughter!”My forehead creased,
“DAD! What the—? What are you up to?! Is there a fire?! You need to go to a psychiatrist?”Dad chuckled,
“No sweetheart… It’s just that—”I watched him catch one frying pan from slipping,
“You need help with that?”
“No, thank you sweet,” Dad replied,
“Anyway, the reason for this is that—”“What? What’s happening?”“The boredom in the weekend thing, the lack of recreational ideas to do together with my family, let’s get that fixed!” Dad exclaimed in exuberant glory that it freaked me out. He might have a chance if he joins a political party.
“What are you planning?” I asked, though the answer was obvious.
“Let’s go to a picnic tomorrow!” He responded smugly.
I snorted,
“You really have to drag those ‘props’ along, huh, Dad?”He winked.
“I sure have to… It’s for emphasizing, and for a quick grasp of my idea, sweetheart.”I rose up from the bed and kissed my dad on the forehead. He really acts so
childish and cutesy that it is too adorable.
“I would love spending with you and bro. I’ll cook something up for tomorrow… So what time?”“I want to leave after lunch.” He said in wonder,
“And oh!”“Hmm?”“I’m inviting Luke and Criss over!”“Eh?!”So that was basically the scenario. Heh, I really have to launch into the story rather than saying it directly.
We reached the park in no more than ten minutes—it was the same park that Luke and I went to, days ago. We spread the blanket under a shady area, near a small baseball field.
Once that everything was settled down, dad went up to some men around his age to say hello; Matt saw two guys—I recognized them as his college friends, a long time ago—and he went up to greet them; Criss, on the other hand, followed Dad and stood just beside him in a very upright fashion that I had to stop myself from laughing—he really is trying to look manly and mature, and he looks like he badly wanted to be included in the elder talk.
Meanwhile, that leaves me and Luke altogether. Well, basically, we were left alone and we didn’t have much to talk about.
Really.It’s a plus that we are with my family because if we were not, he might have launched into his usual affectionate and teasing self if we don’t have anything to say.
After some time, he reached out to me,
“Mind if I taste some of your cooking?”
“Sure,” I said,
“I did those for the purpose of eating it, anyway.”He smirked and reached for a barbecue stick.
“It’s a nice day out, don’t you think?”Typical—talk about the weather if there’s nothing much to say,
“Sure is.” I replied good-naturedly.
Finally, Dad, Matt and Criss went back to join us. I was really thankful, because Luke and I were obviously running out of things to say lately. We could have talked about Lucy—but he knows how much that would affect me, and surely he doesn’t want to ruin the day because of that topic.
“How about we play some baseball?” Matt motioned, clutching the bat.
“Certainly a nice idea, it’s not really sunny now so you, Sammie, shouldn’t have any reason to say no.” Dad remarked, and I let out a snort. Luke threw me a grin.
“We’re short on people, but… First batter would be dad! I’d be the pitcher, Luke will be the catcher. Sam, you’ll put yourself between the 1st and 2nd base,” Matt declared,
“Criss, can you handle the 2nd and 3rd base? You did say you're a man now!”Criss saluted,
“Yes sir!”I reached out to give Criss a hug,
“Let’s go, boys!”I had a hard time putting on the glove, though. It was too big for my hands—and tight too. Luke came to my rescue, and I smiled at him in appreciation.
GAAAAH. I have to note the lack of words that we are recently exchanging.
We got into our own positions in no time, and I watched as dad prepared himself for the coming ball. I had to giggle a little at how Matt was trying to pitch the ball—he surely is trying to look like a pro, but he looked weird rather.
Once Matt released the ball, it hit Dad’s bat with a
loud thwack! And it sent the ball flying towards Criss’s direction.
As expected, the ball was too high and it looked like the ball would go meters and meters away. Dad sure is a good batter and Criss needs to grow a lot more.
“Poor Criss, I might go and catch him before he hyperventilates from running.” Matt remarked in jest.
I giggled a bit and looked after Criss’s cute way of running.
Awwwwwwwwww.Dad suddenly called out to me,
“Did you see that Sam?!”
“Yes! I saw it!”“Your mom in heaven might have fallen in love with me again, didn’t she?!”I laughed,
“Yes dad! I bet!”All four of us shared a quiet laugh. Dad always does this sort of stuff, and it’s sort of funny in a certain way.
“Hey brat,” Dad motioned over to Luke,
“It’s your time to bat; you would have to show me what you’ve got in there.”Luke chuckled,
“Yes captain!”Suddenly, I remembered.
He has a bad arm! I looked at him in alarm—but to my surprise, he was looking back at me too, and it looked like he knew exactly what I was thinking. He smiled nonetheless at me, trying to assure me that he can manage.
I sighed and smiled back at him.
Out of the blue, we heard light footsteps behind us. I saw Criss running back—
all red in the face—with the baseball cradled in by his oversized glove.
“G-got it! Y-you’re out M-Mr. Hale!” Criss declared in between heavy panting.
“Y-you’re out!”He looked too adorable that we all laughed boisterously.
I in turn, immediately scooped Criss up in my arms and kissed him on the cheek,
“You must be thirsty.”After I gave Criss a cup of drink, we all went back to the field—Criss assured us in a very solemn tomato face that he can still do it.
God, he’s such a delightful kid.Luke grabbed the bat and got ready for Matt’s ball. As I looked at him, I hoped he won’t hurt his arm or something.
Once released, he swung his bat in such valor that it sent the ball towards my direction but in such a great height. It was even a louder thwack than what dad did.
I was
amazed—I have to admit that. Looking at Luke, he looked way too happy that he really did manage to hit that ball back, though he had that bad arm—and a bad eyesight, if he’s not wearing contacts right now.
“Did you see that, Sam?!” Luke exclaimed.
I was all smiles.
“Yes, you moron!”Dad interfered,
“You’ve fallen in love with him, didn’t you?! You love him now?!”“Yes! Yes, I—uh! DAD?!?!” I was terribly surprised as to how I reacted.
I looked at Luke in a fury, and he looked surprised as well. But in no matter than a second, his lips curled into a very pleased, all too playful grin.
“Oh goodness,” Dad muttered,
“So she is in love with him?! Oh my… my sweetheart really is… growing up...”Matt chuckled and turned towards me,
“Don’t mind dad; he’s going through that phase ‘my-girl-is-turning-into-a-woman’ thing. I must admit, I am going through it too. Haha!”I felt all the blood in my body rushing to my face. I slowly walked off my base and decided to take a glass of water. I felt really warm and really thirsty. I think my throat went dry.
As I walked, I saw Matt running towards dad, laughing. On the other hand, I felt Criss rushing to my side and grabbing my hand,
“You look red, big sis! Are you developing a fever!?”“N-no…” I muttered. I look red? Is it terrible?
We passed by Luke and I can’t seem to look at him. Out of my peripheral view, I saw him take Criss by the hand, and walked beside me.
“Uhm…” I mumbled. Oh bejesus! Say something Sam!
“You don’t need to say a thing,” Luke chuckled, and in one swift movement, he kissed me by the cheek.
“I love you too Sammie, I always have……and you know that.” 
I felt so many strange emotions surging within me, and I almost felt my head getting lighter. My heart was no good either; it pumped like it was going to burst right out of my chest.
Luke and Criss walked past me.
I only stood at my place.
Instinctively, my hand went right up to the cheek where Luke planted a kiss on.
In my mind, I know it was formulating a string of words, of explanations, to counter what I have just said to Luke. But deep in my heart, it felt so…
light.It was as though I just said something that took off the load in my shoulders; that took off all the hidden sensations wrapped up within.
It was sort of refreshing to blurt out that kind of unwanted… confession.
Yes. I’m referring to it as a confession…
I looked at Luke in wonder as he fooled around with Criss.
…a confession because I think…
and I know, and I admit.
I think I do love this bastard. 
