A/N: supeeer long.
if you we`re on my shoes, I bet you`ll go crazy. TT__TT
it`s not really impossible to fall for your best friend, well at least that`s what I think. it was something I can`t control.. a year ago, I told him that I`m starting to fall for him.. and I was so happy that he felt the same way too.. but then, we decided not to take it to the next level, because we were both afraid sa LOVE na yan but we still freely express our LOVE for each other until such time, nawalan ng connection for almost 6 months, i think it`s because grounded siya..
it surprised me nung sinabi ng isa kong classmate na nililigawan ng best friend ko yung classmate namin which happened to be my close friend.. nasaktan din ako of course.. I thought he was going to wait for me.. I pretended to be happy, like I was happy for the both of them, like it doesn`t hurt where in fact it hurts.. the fact na best friends kami, it didn`t change. he was still the best guy I ever had.. close pa rin kami na yung tipong, magkasama pagrecess, pag may gimmick. until such time, na pagmagkasama kami, 2 of our classmates which is included sa group namin, iba yung tingin.. something like, 'god!why are they together,alam ba ni BEE na may gf na yung tao?',
everybody knows in our group na may something kami nun,I even reminded them so many times na pagmagkasama kami,hayaan niyo lang..ganun lang kami talaga ka-close and please don`t ever think na inaagaw ko siya. pero di nila alam na may feelings pa rin ako kay R... but then mind you, I wasn`t flirting with him or inaagaw man siya.. siniset aside ko yung feelings ko sa kaniya pag magkasama kami dahil may gf yung tao and besides close friend ko yung GF niya.
lumaki yung issue, nagkaroon ng misunderstanding sa group namin.. nainis ako kasi ganun yung tingin nila sa akin, like i`m kind of a b!tch. I burst into tears sa sulok ng classroom namin, lumapit siya and he ask what's wrong.. di ko siya kinausap.. I even told him to stop our friendship kasi hindi nila maintindihan.. nung uwian na, hinabol niya ako.. but I stopped him, soon after, one of my classmate grabbed my wrist and lead me to where R is.. he was CRYING! it was my first time so see him crying like that. i can feel my chest hurting.. lumapit ako sa kaniya.. "let's just pretend like we didn`t know each other.ang hirap kasi na maraming di nakakaintindi." I was crying at that time too.. pinapanood lang kami ng iba, some are even comforting us. he cried tapos muntik ng umatake yung asthma niya!ako naman, di na rin makahinga.. >.< so he told me to go home. siyempre ayoko but then he told me to go home.. I was èffin mad. yung girlfriend niya, lumapit sa akin and she said thank you. what the hell?what was she thanking for?
ilang days kaming di nagpansinin.. he even texted me like nahihirapan na siya, di niya kaya, umamin rin ako na di ko na rin kaya... tapos nung isang araw lang, nasa bahay ako ng tita ko.. which is malapit lang sa kanila.. pinapunta ko siya and guess what.. ok na ang lahat.. TT____TT the bad thing is, i`m really falling for him REAL HARD! xD
2 days na kaming ganun, sa umaga di nagpapansinan, sa harap ng gf niya.. sa lahat.. pero pag gabi, nagkikita kami. I felt bad, I felt guilty kasi parang ang sama namin na tinatago namin yun. it was really hard for me.. for us. na ganun lang.. ang masama dun, parang bumabalik na yung dati, yung SOMETHING dati sa amin... he even bought me a poodle and we even named it after our names combined! xD i don`t know what to do anymore!
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I blabber too much.. anyway, for those who read this.. thanks for your time and if you have something to say or if you have an advice, you should tell me..HEHE.
