my dad died

[kyutipay]

i was only 12 years old nung namatay papa ko.

we did not imagine he would die as early as the age of 43. who would have thought anyway? with his body so healthy plus jogging and exercise every morning.. 

biglaan kasi yung nangyari noon e..

no one expected na bigla siyang kukunin.. so sad.. really sad.. hindi kami masyado close ni papa compared sa mga kuya ko since only daughter ako.. the thing was, i never got the chance to tell him how much i love him when he was still alive.. 

so to those who still have their parent; this advice, treat them with love, show how much you value and care for them..

death is like a thief in the night.. no one can tell and predict kung kelan niya tayo kukunin..  it may be next year, next month, today, tomorrow or even now. no one knows.. only God knows..

the death of my dad was just in a blink of an eye..

i recall his statements when he was still alive.. he always reminded us not to be afraid of death because it's a part of our life.. and that, whatever happen he is always ready at any moment God gets him. true isn't it? he's a good person. if there's one thing, i would like to give thanks to him is yung pag orient niya samin spiritually.. wala man siyang naipamana na kayamanan but yung lesson and teachings ni Lord na na i'share niya sa amin e mas pa sa kung anung milyones ang meron sila.. 
he's not a pastor btw.. he's just an ordinary person who follows the will of Christ.. 

I cried a lot.. never a single day that tears didn't capture my face. what's more mortifying in my part was everytime i see my mom weeping, mourning and grieving.. as if nawala yung kalahati ng katawan niya..

and then the moment I was informed na wala na siya I began questioning God.. ba't yung papa ko pa yung kinuha niya e samantalang andami namang masasamang loob diyan..

but i was wrong for blaming God.. may purpose siya kung ba't niya ginawa yun..

ayaw na niya mag suffer si papa at the same time ayaw na din niya na gumasto pa kami.. imagine, the doctor told us we should raise 500,000 para ma operahan and kung successful man ang operation at maka survive siya, useless lang din naman kasi gulay na yung katawan niya..

november 24, 2004.

it was indeed a hilarious incident.. as if world had stopped revolving..

but it made us stronger anyway.. we have take it as a challenge.. a challenge to see how deep our faith on God was. 

it may be a lie for me to say that i have let go of the past. nobody lets go of memories be it good or bad. each tear that flowed was an unforgettable experience.  i believe that in this life there's no such thing as forgetting--only acceptance.

life must go on after all.
 
and after five years, i can't deny the fact that there are moments that I still cry..


now, i am 17 years old already, first year college. as time passes by and through God's grace i have no choice but to manage to accept the harsh cold truth that never will it happen that papa would be present during my debut, my graduation day, my wedding day and to the every days of my life . 


HEALING TAKES TIME BUT SELF-MOTIVATION AND PRAYERS MAKE IT MORE FAST.

hindi lang natin namamalayan.

-----

sis, don't hide feelings. iiyak mo lang yan coz mas mahirap yung may kinikimkim.. it might affect your health pa..

crying is part of healing.. be positive.. ayaw na ni lord maghirap papa mo.. imagine, kung buhay pa siya ngayon tapos you'll see him na may iba't ibang kumplikasyon.. ang pangit nu'n diba? at least now, you know where he is.. though masakit talaga kung sa masakit..


BE STRONG AND JUST PRAY..

I almost cry.
We had the same experienced sis. my father died when i was 14 years old.
Being the youngest in the family I'm a Daddy's girl too. thats why when he died
i felt it was the most surreal event of my life.
It was painful and there were times i wish when i wake up the next day.
I'd see him again. we could spend more time together.
but each day passing i realized i need to accept the truth and look into the silver lining.
maybe God has a purpose. he doesn't want my father suffer from his disease.

Accepting the wounds and learning to live once again. continue praying and trust God =) God bless

[kleixha_c:]

condolence.
tatagan mo ang loob mo sis. alam kong mahirap i-accept ang isang bagay na yan.

 pero I know you can do it. 

ask God's guidance. para okay. :]

[-16pinkytwix16-]

condolence po...

I know how it feels tulad ng two previous reply I lost my dad too when i was 14..
Sis i knw its hard,

At first wla na akong ginawa nun kundi tumitig sa nothingness,umiyak ng umiyak at prang patapun ang buhay... halos pinbayaan ko n ang studies ko.. Coz i wasn't expecting that dad will be gone "daddy's girl din" ako, i grew up with dad than with mum....Parang mas comfortable ako with dad kaya nun nwala siya, halos matay na rin ako..

But when i saw mum trying to be strong for US..kahit triple pa ang skit  na nrararmdaman nia  sa hurt na nararamdamn namin mga anak....
dun ko na realize na life should move on parin...Na ako buhay pa at sina mama at kapatid ko...

Kaya sis, don't worry let time heal the pain...di madali, di mabilis you need time...patient....iiyak mo lang yn! hanngang sa u feel much better....
It took me almost 2-3 years bago ko na let go  c dad na tangapin n lang na he's with God..somewer safe!And your dad too, ksama na sya ni God:)

and ur father will be happy to see you happy, every time tears fell into your eyes remember that it hurts your Dad, kaya SMILE and it will mean alot to him:)

Let time heal the pain sis:)

[blue wish]

I've lost my dad when Im still 1 4 and after that my mom followed, hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdam ko, I fell helpless because Im the eldest I need to take care the other 3 siblings that I have, I really can't accept the way they died because it was brutal..I hate them for leaving us sooo early and at the back of my mind I want them back..I know there are times that I've been a lousy daughter to them. I want their presence in every occassions. They didn't even wait to see me graduate as a Valedictorian during highschool. When they've gone, I don't know what to do because we are not that close to out other relatives, I miss the times that I am A ''señorita'' in the house.. I miss it all...