Boys And What You Need To Know About Them

This is a true story of boy meets boy. Unlike many exaggerated stories of young love, this love really did change my life. Because before the was The Boy, there was a girl. But after The Boy, I would never love another girl again.

by Evan Rosell* as told to Shiloah Matic * photo by Pat Dy

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Let's call the boy "Adam*."

If Adam hadn't started saying "Hi," I wouldn't have noticed him. In fact, he had said "Hi" to me countless times already before I realized that he was actually a lab classmate of mine who'd been sitting a few tables away from me all semester. Yes, Adam was really nothing special-completely forgettable.

Except he asked for my number. Before school closed for the Christmas break, he asked and said he wanted to greet me on Christmas Eve. I made excuses, but he persisted. I gave in. He called. Often. We became friends.

For the sake of this rather unique friendship, I ignored the hushed rumors-and the chocolates on Valentine's Day. It was harder to ignore the little notes he left on my car: "Didn't see you today. Went home na. Talk to you tonight." It was even harder to ignore the giddy feeling that sparked in me when I read them.

But I couldn't turn a blind eye to the roses-dozens of them-all around my car one day. Friendship just wasn't the word for it anymore, and I knew it. I opened my eyes to the scary fact that he was treating me like a girl-not a guy friend. But why would he do that? I wasn't gay. Was I? The boundaries of our relationship were blurred; it was only a matter of time before one of us crossed the line.

It was raining the day I told him. I was at school, at a phone booth, and nervous as hell. The day could not end without me knowing what we were-friends or... at the time I couldn't even bring myself to consider the alternative. But I knew there were feelings between us that I didn't understand and that I wanted to explore because it could be the best thing that ever happened to me. You always see the bright side when you're in love.

He picked up the phone.

"Adam, I have to tell you something. Promise to just listen because I'm only going to say this once, and if you don't hear it, bahala ka, basta I said it na."

And I said it: "I'm in love with you."

We were supposed to live happily ever after-I loved him, and we were best friends. These stories always end happily. But instead, there was silence.

Later on, he told me he wasn't gay. The roses, the phone calls, the songs he played for me on the phone-these were things guys did for the ones they loved. So how could he not be in love with me? It was an identity crisis and a love crisis all at once. He made me question who and what I was and changed the way I saw myself and those around me.

Whatever it was, it ended that day. And though our ending was forever after, it wasn't happy.

But it was also a beginning.

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Comments

1. pinkaholic says:: an eye opener. :)
August 6, 2007 at 5:05 pm
2. blue_topher says:: Wow. You're an inspiration.
August 6, 2007 at 5:29 pm
3. nestle says:: very touching :)
August 6, 2007 at 6:54 pm
4. mariam says:: very sad!!
August 6, 2007 at 8:10 pm
5. djycah says:: "You are what you are, no explanation needed." --i really like this sentence. it really strucked me... :) thanks for sharing your story Ü
August 6, 2007 at 8:39 pm
6. -rAmDoRe- says:: so sad.. but it gives inspiration...
August 6, 2007 at 8:41 pm
7. yanahere says:: woah! its true everyone has a happy ending even gays
August 6, 2007 at 11:06 pm
8. nur asiah says:: grabeehh.......... naman napakasweet nyong dalawa
August 8, 2007 at 10:09 am
9. ilovepink03k says:: awww. inspiring. ö "love isn't blind. it sees more not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
August 8, 2007 at 11:55 am
10. kaien says:: nice story
August 8, 2007 at 4:21 pm
11. angel20 says:: speechless..ü
August 8, 2007 at 4:32 pm
12. Warm Soul says:: Love it! An inspiration!
August 8, 2007 at 9:34 pm
13. beadyrocker says:: what a touching story.. I love it!!
August 9, 2007 at 2:35 pm
14. :) says:: shucks. so nice. sana meron din about bisexuality.
August 9, 2007 at 3:08 pm
15. lorocoo says:: was astig ka pare!!!tapang mo ha!
August 9, 2007 at 4:32 pm
16. eyshi04 says:: i loved reading it. :]
August 9, 2007 at 7:35 pm
17. seafreak says:: nice story....you're such a fighter!!!
August 10, 2007 at 12:59 am
18. bjorn says:: wow... i can relate... (o.o)
August 10, 2007 at 9:43 am
19. pinkglitter says:: this thing is good. ^^,)
August 10, 2007 at 10:47 am
20. koali15 says:: *ouch!!* U rock!! keep fightin'!!
August 10, 2007 at 1:11 pm
21. angela101 says:: adam really became a heroic person for sharing this experience of his.
August 10, 2007 at 1:32 pm
22. katie_violet says:: how touching. be true to yourself
August 11, 2007 at 1:12 pm
23. pinkylicious25 says:: niCe!!
August 11, 2007 at 1:18 pm
24. satomi says:: what a touching story!
August 11, 2007 at 9:15 pm
25. jana_winx says:: wow... can't believe it.. it must be so hard..
August 13, 2007 at 12:36 pm
26. garnet_519 says:: Sad...but he's right. It's only the beginning.
August 13, 2007 at 6:54 pm
27. ayumi_animaniac_princess says:: awww....but I think he's right, it's only the beggining
August 13, 2007 at 7:30 pm
28. mikee says:: so touching
August 14, 2007 at 7:12 am
29. Ethel says:: reminds me of my gay friend.. sme thing happend to him.. hayy.. anyway.. it was a really nice story..
August 14, 2007 at 12:43 pm
30. jLEn1324 says:: haiZ...your so honest with your feelings..sna ganun din ako..pra khit papano hindi mahuhurt ang heart ko..saludo ako sayo
August 17, 2007 at 8:46 pm
31. hansaids143 says:: bravo adam! nice story....its ok adam. wats important is that ur happy with your life...
August 18, 2007 at 7:10 pm
32. amitaf323 says:: we're in a patriarchal country that's why gays are discriminated. But the truth is, gays are the smartest, loveliest thing on earth. it's good that you finally realized who you are. Just stay happy with what you have.:)
August 19, 2007 at 4:05 pm
33. vinjer says:: that's right nagpakatotoo ka lng.. keep up the good work...
August 23, 2007 at 1:26 pm
34. inCes_aziL16 says:: wow... inspiring:)
August 27, 2007 at 2:01 pm
35. i love 7 says:: it was kinda funny. i thought "adam" was gay... you're a genuine man!
August 27, 2007 at 7:53 pm
36. Camille_Juanico says:: Nakakatouch nman!!!
August 28, 2007 at 4:53 pm
37. cheeeezka says:: woah! thanks for sharing your story.. it was nice.. sumtimes i think im gay.. i dont know why.. hehe!! im just a crzy little girl..
September 2, 2007 at 8:40 pm
38. miamijares says:: wow...it was a courageous story to tell...i salute u for that.. and maybe u will find ur prince partner later in life...im happy u discovered urself...n what u truly are...
September 3, 2007 at 12:30 pm
39. thug_warrior says:: Wow. Ur a fighter. Tama nga, be true to yourself. Your story is really an inspiration to me. Grabe, why lie to yourself kung ganun ka eh ang sarili mo din ang pinapahirapan mo. Tama nga, magpakatotoo tayo. Alam naman ni God ang situation natin pag nagkaganun. Alam niya kung ano feelings natin.
September 7, 2007 at 7:42 pm
40. pat_tom says:: inspiring..
September 8, 2007 at 2:51 pm
41. ronA says:: whaAh!! aNg sAd nMn nG stOrY mU!!.. weL if i weR yOu jUzt acCept kUng cnU kA tLagA! jUzt bE yOursELf.. mY mGmmHL din sAU nG tApat... iN rgHt tYM! jZt enjOy tHe thiNgs tHat happEninG in yOur Lyf!!! tHe wOrLd is beAutifUL u knOW!!!! jUzt bE hapi :)
September 14, 2007 at 3:59 pm
42. zii.eytin says:: nice. nice . nice!! :)
September 19, 2007 at 8:08 pm
43. jarl says:: wow nman!!just be urself nlng and may the best man win!!!!!!!11hahahahah!!!!!!! joke lng poe>..........
September 21, 2007 at 6:29 pm
44. trishy_07 says:: toUchiNg, , ,
September 23, 2007 at 7:34 pm
45. icy_witch says:: well..its alright, you're blessed to have an understanding family...!
September 26, 2007 at 10:35 am
46. EejhaY says:: ..just be yourself... and accept who you are... not everyone may understand but there will be some that will...Ü
September 28, 2007 at 8:27 am
47. iszah says:: wow! amaizing... very inspirational
October 6, 2007 at 6:03 pm
48. ktgurltc says:: whoa it really broadened my perspective! that was certainly an eye opener!
October 29, 2007 at 9:55 am
49. megan says:: reminds me of "orosa-nakpil malate"...n_n
November 17, 2007 at 3:52 pm
50. micaheunice93 says:: nkkaiyak nmn poh!! actually a very touching one.. awww!!
January 30, 2008 at 9:58 pm
51. chilledchocolate says:: Kuya, I understand. Pero I still wish you to be happy and a to be a man. Kasi, bible doesn't approve a person to be bisexual. God bless.
March 7, 2008 at 7:37 pm
52. dukemarie says:: kung ano ang nasa puso mo sundin mo!hehe...kung san ka msaya dun ka,dhil kung di ka msaya sa ginagawa mo,patuloy mo hahanap hanapin ang ligaya na dapt sayu.
May 14, 2008 at 7:43 pm
53. _yss_ says:: sooo touching...just believe and be urself...this is very inspirational..!
June 6, 2008 at 12:47 pm
54. cezi says:: wow. un lang :) you're so brave.
June 23, 2008 at 11:11 pm

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