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Katie's Blog
Day in the Life of Candy
Deconstructing the Enemy
I admit. I’ve done it. I’ve demonized someone that I didn’t take the chance to get to know. All because I was jealous. Guilty as charged.
It’s just that, the first sight of these pretty little things flipping their perfect little hair in the direction of your boyfriend is sure to annoy you. Once introduced, they will grate on your nerves with their lilting laughs and coy innuendo. Already aggravated, any further interaction only results in them pushing all your buttons. Or at least, seeming to do so. Instinctively, you will set off on a warpath to obliterate her.
I’ve realized, though, that the key to keeping your relationship hassle- and jealousy-free is not to destroy the girl who threatens you. What you need to do is make an about-face and take on the biggest of all battles—your relationship with your guy. If he’s happy and you’re happy and your relationship is strong, the Other Girl can flutter her lashes all she wants and she wouldn’t stand a chance.
I could be wrong, but what has probably got you so riled up is not so much that she’s Evil Incarnate but that you and the Other Girl are so alike that you’re scared your guy will trade one for the other. The way I see it, if you keep yourself happy and keep him happy, he won’t ever do a double take.
61 Responses to “Deconstructing the Enemy”
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August 17th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
i like your blog! And you’re definitely right! If your relationship with your guy is strong and built with trust, then no one can keep your relationship from any insecurities.
August 19th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
ang gnda ., hehe .,
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
,’you know what its okey if ur bf had a g’friend as long as ther wher not doing anything bad……
August 24th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
LOVED it!
August 25th, 2007 at 12:03 am
you’re definitely right!! if both of you are happy, nobody can destroy the relationship! i love this page so much! =))
August 26th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
wow katie, you’re right!
i mean, if you know that your boyfriend loves you and you love him, and you’re both happy with each other, there really is nothing to worry about even if someone’s crushing too hard on your guy. 
September 2nd, 2007 at 12:48 pm
nice….
ang gnda..
ang selos kkambal ng pag-ibig…
hehehe..
September 4th, 2007 at 8:57 am
100% aggreable
September 4th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
hi.. i’m roseann.. My relationship with my boyfriend ended last August 31(even if it’s my birthday). I decided to broke up with him because he confesses that his crushing on somebody and that the “other girl” seemed to be like me.. he also said that he wants time to think whether who will he picked between the two of us! But I don’t agree to it. one thing more, our adviser last year on our senior year caught him with his “other girl” at the mall and his hands are put on the girl’s waist.
when that news came up to me, i was so shocked, can’t believe after a year and a month this is all I got? I give him the time, i GAve him all.. why did he do that to me?
it came to a point that i was crying so hard in front of him, grieving and telling him, forget that girl! come back to me and I will forget all the things you’ve done. But it turns out to be.. hindi niya maiwanan yung isa.. hayy.. so SAd. So i ended the conversation right there and walked out..
I’m happy with my decision and I don’t want him in my life anymore. We’re 3 days off and I’m enjoying my single life again. I liked your blog. I can relate to the things your posting here..
if someone there would want to be my friend, visit my blog! (roseann-moments.blbogspot.com) thanks..
September 4th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
” If he’s happy and you’re happy and your relationship is strong,”
I really love to quote this line of yours.
September 5th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
you have a point and it’s true.. i also had been to the same situation like you, feeling all the insecurities towards another woman who is pushing too hard to be notice and get my boyfriend’s attention.. later on, i also realized that there is nothing to be worried about in the first place.. because if you know that you’ve been a perfect girlfriend to him (doing nothing bad to hurt him) and making him happy with your relationship, then he will never replace you with anyone. Besides, those who feel insecure from other girls, whether they are pretty, smarter than you think you are, are those who know deep within them that they had never done enough to satisfy their boyfriend ,but if you think you do, then you will think positive….. and if girls realized how happy you guys are for having each other, they will be the one who will really get sooooooooo insecure.. never let your self feel that.. let them feel that for theirselves for pushing too hard for someone they really cant have.. hahahaha..
September 8th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
well what can i say? you’re totally perfectly right!…let the little “monster” do what she want..as long as you love and trust each other no “monster” can ever get in ur way.. hahaha..that happened to me gazillion times..haha.. but i just realize that their is no point for me to get mad on that “monster” after all their is no way she can have ur man…ull juzz need to have faith , love, and respect… these are the key on a successful love life…hehe…
September 10th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
i lhub this!!! yeh. i believe the same thing. if your relationship with your guy is healthy then no one could get in the way.
i lhub your blogs katie!!!! :))
September 11th, 2007 at 10:05 am
well..its kinda normal to get jealous..but they’re right..if the guy loves you, even how much temptation they’ll give him..he wont get tempted..and he’ll be with you all the way…hehe Ãœ aryt? ♥♥♥
September 16th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
err…
i can relate to that…
it was a mistake, but I’ve realized it when we’re over, the guy and me… T_T
September 17th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
hey katie! how come your bloggie wasn`t in the 09`ish?
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO IT! x_X saaaaad.
anyway, they shouldn`t take you away, because teens
like me from st. mary`s on the hill [cdoc] admire your
diary.. x) MORE POWER, and the MAG too! \m/
♥hersixth
September 18th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
post more!
i love your points and i can really relate to your experiences!
more power to candymag!
September 18th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
danda ;p
maslalo na yung line na:
I’ve realized, though, that the key to keeping your relationship hassle- and jealousy-free is not to destroy the girl who threatens you.
hehe.. keep it up!
September 20th, 2007 at 3:06 am
You can really ignore anything especially that can make you worst. Just always remember to enjoy happy and keep it strong in relationship. You don’t need to be insecure especially if you really feel that your boyfriend loves you and feel that you are really important woman for him.
September 26th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
yeah!! katie was so right..i can tell you.. i was once a victim, and hell it was not so good at all.. i was affected then, i even tought of surrendering. but not anymore, i overcome my fear and yeah! i survived. me and my boy are so fyn now.. thank god. =)
October 5th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
I love your blog. it`s worth reading. Thumbs up!
October 10th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
thanks coz i got a new tip from your blog in having a relationship.. coz i havent had a boyfriend.. hehe.. now i know what to do if ever i had one.. godbless!!
October 15th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
wow!!! ang ganda ng blog mo gurl!!!
well… it is normal to be jealous naman ehh… syempre u love ur bf that’s why… but kc it would not help to your relationship kaya y choose to be jealous dba?!!!
if u want to have a peaceful and happy relationship, u should always trust each other and don’t think about negative things dat may happen…
October 19th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Jealousy can kill. but a little of it is healthy. at least the one you love realizes that you’re afraid to lose him. Hindi naman natin maipagkakaila na minsan natatakot din tayo na baka mamaya maghanap ng iba yung mahal natin though alam natin na hindi niya gagawin yun. may mga cases naman kasi na all of sudden, pwede siyang ma fall out of love sa ‘yo dahil lang na attract siya sa isang girl. haha pinagkakatiwalaan mo siya, as so was he, pero there are times na hindi mo man gustuhin, pero pwedeng mangyari. surprise are always in the store. you could be wrong because of that, but nobody’s perfect right? and you only did what you think is rightful to do.^.^
October 21st, 2007 at 11:20 am
it’s easy, if you know that he loves you and you also love him..there’s nothing wrong, cause you know that your fidelity is strong,.nothing would happen if there’s always faith and fidelity. no more worries.!
October 22nd, 2007 at 6:41 pm
i like your blog, it’s full of honesty. and it also follows the rule “reality check”.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Hey Katie…
I hate those kinds of girls! They are so super annoying… but if your boyfriend really, as in really likes you, there’s absoulutely no chance that those girls can take him away.
By The Way: Good Luck trying to keep calm!
-Danni
October 28th, 2007 at 10:27 am
nice blog. i can relate to it now cuz there’s this flirty girl who’s txting my bf with this i dont really like msgs. he’s telling him he rocks her heart and will all those mwahh and i hope you will find your dream girl. duh, she’s evem claiming that were freinds if she considers me as one of her friends, then she wouldnt tell my bf that she hopes that he will find his dreamgirl.
October 29th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
nice.
November 3rd, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Hi Katie! I really like your blog. This article made me realize that jealousy is a really bad virtue and people don’t need to be jealous to steal the spotlight, right? Anyway, good luck to you!
November 4th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
ei katie..
I always read your diary in every candy mag issues and i really love it..
U know what lot of gurls have the same problems/experience like you.. Even i used to be one of them..I can’t hardly get jealous wen my bf is like that..But the word “trust” always comes in..I should trust my bf all the time especially in cases like this..We have a very strong relationship and that little issue must not affect us..Just trust him ok because trust is one of the foundation in a relationship..
Godbless!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>IyaH
November 5th, 2007 at 10:18 am
I guess in a relationship, you have to have loyalty and you have to trust your partner so that when the time comes that other people or issues come your way to destroy the relationship, it wouldn’t be hard for you to surpass them or recover from them….
November 7th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Its rigth, in a relationship you must trust each other. your blog was rally nice to red
November 12th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
i so agree! why worry if both of you are happy, right?
November 20th, 2007 at 11:30 am
i agree to you my friend!!keep up the good work!!!:)
November 21st, 2007 at 11:47 pm
you’re right. it’s just a matter of confidence, patience.. and trust.
Teehee. Love the blog.
November 28th, 2007 at 9:25 am
u know…katie..mging strong lng tau in all of the things..watever happens..be brave..sadjang dumdating stin un…ganyang gnyan din ginawa skin ng bf q.ni2 lng nya gnawa skin un…love na love xa ng gurl…pero wala xa magawa kaya suma2 xa..e aq nmn wala aqng mga2wa kc and2 aq sa malau..d q kita gngawa nya,,kaya C LORD n lng bhala sa knila…kung mahal aq ng bf q..xa na bhala dun…nkakuha aq ng tip..sau..medjo nkakamove on na aq..tnx..
November 28th, 2007 at 9:28 am
meron tlgang mga babae na khit alam nila na meron ng GF un boy..pilit pa rin nila sinisiksik sarili nila…para bng “SUROT” na ndi maalis alis…hahaha…kng mhl tlga nya aq..xa na bhala dun….ngmukha na aqng tanga ng ilang months…im so tired of being stupid..be strong…kng anu man dumating sa inyong pagsubok….don’t feel insecure…
November 28th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
I don’t have a boyfriend anymore but I think I could relate to that… in my case it’s about my crushes… whenever other girls could catch his attention and I couldn’t… parang dyahe…hahahaha….
Would you ever print you diares and blogs like that of Seventeen’s Vince’s Life?… I hope you could and more power…
December 1st, 2007 at 8:52 pm
hai… gnyan kme ngaun ng boyfriend ko:(
December 4th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
i love the blog since i am experiencing it at the moment,the sad thing about it is the girl is my friend and she has the guts to tell me that he likes my boyfriend before…which i find weird..oh well,,,my boyfriend kinda finds her cute but he assures me that he doesn’t like her anymore…
December 4th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
ooh.. its very well said! i so love it!
December 4th, 2007 at 3:58 pm
i sooo love it!! very well said..
December 8th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
…….it’s alright….very nice story…
..i love it…
December 13th, 2007 at 8:56 am
a little jealousy is okay. but if your boyfriend is making it a game on you, aba, LAYASAN MO NA!
December 20th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Very well said, Katie. Love this entry.
True enough, if youe guy loves you, the Other Girl can flutter her lashes all she wants. But your guy will never notice her, because he loves you.
January 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
aww,.
that is true,
i love this!
January 20th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
yea!Ãœ that’s true.
January 20th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
you know what.it was only this friday when i had the exact situation like yours. hai naku.i was really feeling bad that day after knowing that the girl went to their house just to ask my guy if he could teach her how to play drums.yeah.the girl was pretty much like me in some ways. but during that time i said all the ugly things about her,like the way she carry herself which is so overdressed.but now i realized that yun nga if were both happy that girl cant ruin us.haha.
January 28th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I’m sure, it is really annoying! especially if the girl even flirts to your boyfreind!
January 29th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
thats a nice blogs..i experirience lyk dat b4..wen girls flirted wid my bf..i fel irritated bcoz even hw many tyms my bf avoidded dem dey stil goin 2 himand flirt…i reli relate n dat blog..nw i knw hw 2 control d situation..tnx..
February 3rd, 2008 at 11:40 am
++you’re totally right..i love your blog..really!++
February 6th, 2008 at 12:01 am
tru n wel said, u gurl! bild a strongr relaxonxip nstead of fyting bck is much bter coz she wil realze dat u n ur guy luv ich oder dat much. der r lots o guyz in d plnet, y fyt ovr one?!… or, u cud also share nstead- joke! haha XD
February 6th, 2008 at 12:04 am
nice blog, well said! true and proven i hope every girl in the planet realizes the truth about your blog. . .
February 8th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
nice!
February 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
nakarelate ako sa blog mu sis, anyway lahat na yata nasabi nila hihi just stay strong nalang and always put a smile on ur face!! be safe!!
February 20th, 2008 at 10:40 am
nice blog!…but he did it olready…i mean,the double click thingy….sooooooooooooo sad…..
February 23rd, 2008 at 5:12 am
hai.. cant believe that i stayed awakee all night long reading a stranger’s diary.. and cant believe that ive learned a lot from someone who’s far younger than i am…!
February 24th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
wow katie.. your so blog is really cool……
huhuhuhuhu
February 25th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
if i had a boyfriend i would probably be jealous too. anyways, if i’d have one i’d probably be not jealous anymore. coz’ if we really love each other he’ll not exchange me with another girl.
March 2nd, 2008 at 6:31 pm
yah right .. but sometimes,
in a relationship
all you need is
some patience and
partners should really
talk things out ..
and also,
dealing with those
kind of girls
are really..
uhhmm..
they pisssed everyone’s life off..
but anyweiz..
luv your blog.!
luv the way you
write it.!!