You walked into my life like the sun; you melted the snow and warmed my bones until I could tread the earth again. You came in with tenderness right when I thought the numbing cold was here to stay. When you came around, my heart was still in deep slumber trying to heal from the unforgiving snowstorm that shattered its walls yet you never left my side. Instead you embraced me so tight as if you were trying to put my pieces back together. Your sweet calling brought me back and you were the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. You gave me new eyes, handed me a pair with a promise that you will never make them cry. It was then that I saw how our love took roots and grew and soared. Love, I will always remember you like spring.
Before we knew it our love was in full bloom. Before my very eyes I witnessed how things really blossom and become beautiful when they're loved deeply. Our love felt like warm sand between our toes right before we step into the sea, your hand in mine. Our love was the most exhilarating. It felt like a perpetual fireworks show, a never-ending free fall always leaving us breathless. Every time we danced, everyone around us seemed to disappear but it didn't matter then because I was sure that you'll always be there when I look over my shoulder. My hands didn't feel like my own when they're not holding yours. You were my constant, like the constellations that light up summer skies, if only our summer lasted forever.
I have never been good with abrupt temperature drops; my heart didn't come with insulation to protect it from the burning heat or the frigid cold. That is why when warm evenings in your arms became nights spent alone braving the cold wind, I suffered. Sweet pillow talks were now phone calls left unanswered, I Love Yous were left suspended in the air unreturned. It felt like I have lost you even when you're just a few inches away from me. My eyes were searchlights trying to find traces of the sun in your eyes but all they did was remind me that nights come earlier in the autumn. I tried keeping everything together but I guess fall, like all seasons, was just meant to come.
If only I could catch every tear that fell like snowflakes when the winter came, I would've stretched my hands wide open to keep them from reaching the ground and burying us in snow. When the darkest of nights were upon us I realized that I couldn't defeat the shadows alone. I was calling out your name over and over but you were nowhere in sight. I would love to find you, put my coat on in the middle of the night and brave the snowstorm but the cold is already unbearable and unforgiving and my tired heart needs rest. If only the warmth of our love could've stopped the frostbite that was goodbye. We didn't make it. I wish we did, love, I wish we did.
The sky has cleared now but the windows are still hazy. I have no idea how long this winter would last but I know now that like all the seasons, it was meant to happen to us. We would've given everything to stay under the warm blanket that is the summer sun but that is not how the universe works. At this very moment the Earth is spinning at more than a thousand miles per hour and by that you just know that it waits for no one; even people taking a chance at love. I used to believe that I never saw the end coming but I guess I just didn't want to accept the fact that at the back of my mind, I did. Don't get me wrong, I never doubted your love for me and I was as certain as the waves crashing the shore that I felt the same way.
I used to believe that I never saw the end coming but I guess I just didn't want to accept the fact that at the back of my mind, I did.
Our love story was destined to begin like spring and to end like winter, just like flowers are bound to grow and bloom and fade away; I was just in denial then.
Not all things are meant to last for as long as the stars are up in the sky and we have to live with that.
Remember, my love, that endings don't make things any less beautiful. There is pain, excruciating pain, but there is also grace and acceptance and renewal. The cold may be bitter and harsh to our frail bodies but we have no choice but to wait this one out. Our bones may be freezing, our lips trembling, and our hearts hurting but spring will come again, as always.