It starts out innocently enough: He's the boy you've seen at his filthiest—the one who always puts his sweaty arm around you after three hours of basketball, just to annoy you. You've seen him at his grossest—initiating belching contests with the rest of the guys at the cafeteria table during lunch. And he thinks you're his personal tutor—endlessly photocopying your notes and calling your house at dinnertime to ask which formula to use for that tricky chem question.
Then one day, as if fate were playing a not-so-funny joke on you, his minute-long burps don't seem quite so gross. You start to think that even when sweating buckets at that never-ending basketball game, he's actually kind of cute. And you don't really mind talking to him for hours on the phone. You suddenly find yourself in the lead role of a drama that could rival the epic saga of Chuck and Blair. The question is, should you tell him?
Unhappily Ever After
Ryan was actually a friend of Jane's prom date. He was set up with Jane's friend for the same prom, and they were all in the same group. Ryan and Jane became buddies, often hanging out together and texting each other. Maybe it was inevitable that they'd end up together, which they were for a year and a half. But according to the un-couple, starting out as friends actually turned out to be one of the causes of their relationship's breakdown. "I think I felt so free with him that I ended up being... too blunt," Jane admits. "And we fought a lot."
While it's great that you can be yourself with someone, sometimes it can get way out of hand. In that sense, the relationship actually ends up being worse off than it would have been had you started out not knowing each other inside out.
In Anne and Miguel's case, the relationship didn't even get a chance to blossom beyond friendship. "We got along really well," she relates. "Sometimes, I even wondered if we could've been soul mates." She says the last sentence with a touch of irony since they hardly see or speak to each other anymore. And that's a pretty difficult thing to deal with since they had been friends for almost four years before Anne mustered enough courage to confess her true feelings to Miguel. "To his credit, he really looked pained that he couldn't reciprocate the love. But I knew it was the end of our friendship. I couldn't bear to be his buddy or his confidante after that."
Should You Spill?
Be prepared for the worst. Remember that things could go either way, so try to brace yourself. It's never easy to decide between the pain of losing your friendship with him or the possible joy of finding out he feels the same way you do. Sometimes, it's a choice between being brave enough to take matters into your own hands or settling for living with life's what-ifs. The hard part is the fact that there's no right or wrong answer-neither choice is absolutely wrong. But, at least, if you do decide to take that next step and things don't work out, you'll know you tried, and you'll eventually get over the heartache. In time, the two of you could even be friends again.
Click on to the next page to read about Pam and Andrew being "just friends" and how Macky and Celline took a risk.