After being in a long term relationship with the same guy, you might start noticing other handsome guys around you. Of course you wouldn't go over, pretend you're single and kiss another guy, or even hold hands with another guy—that's obviously cheating. You would hate to be the unfaithful and not be a trustworthy kind of girl, and you probably wouldn't be able to forgive yourself for hurting your guy that way. But are you allowed to talk to your crush? Maybe texting him a little won't hurt either? Well, even if it's not as clear-cut as the more popular forms of cheating, there's such thing as emotional cheating. And it's just as bad. Investing the same emotional effort in your 'friendship' with your crush as you do with your relationship with your boyfriend may lead to emotional cheating. Here are the signs:
1 You catch yourself thinking about him a little too much.
Let's say you met this boy at school. He's good-looking and cool and you got to talk to him and felt instantly kilig. But then for some reason you can't get him off your mind: the way he said your name and how cute he was in the shirt he was wearing. You even wished he stayed longer, or that you got to talk to him more that day. You're crushing and that's alright, but then the next day you hope to see him again, and then he adds you on Facebook, and you can't wait to start a long conversation. He ends up in your thoughts more and more throughout the day and you kind of start forgetting you have a boyfriend. Maybe it's still a crush, but maybe you like him a little more than you should.
2 You don't just flirt with him once.
So you do accept this guy as your friend on Facebook and you start having innocent conversations. You aren't just talking to him like you would a friend though. In fact you're being flirty—and you're conscious of it. You compliment him a lot, and you're a little too pa-cute. You end up giving him your number and exchanging sweet text messages, with him—even to the extent that you end up setting times and places to meet up with him. You keep your conversations going and you can't help but ask him more questions about himself, and at the same time you share more about yourself and you're smiley and giggly the whole way through. It's not just a crush anymore, girl. You may think it's okay, but you're starting to cross the line, even if you don't know it yet!
3 You treat him the way you treat you boyfriend, or better.
Since the time you two started to talk more, you've ranted all your frustrations with school, family, and even your problems in your relationship. You're starting to trust him with feelings you can't even share with your boyfriend, and end up looking for the same affection from this guy, too. When you aced that difficult test or passed that audition you wanted so badly, you find yourself telling him first before anyone else. You wouldn't put a friend before your boyfriend but somehow this guy is special. You talk to him the same way you do to your boyfriend, you give him the same time and attention, or worse, you're starting to give him more of both.
4 You make extra efforts for him.
After your numerous daily conversations, you find that you see him in school more often. When you know you might run into him, you make sure you look nicer. You fix your hair, wear a nicer top ,and put on a little more makeup. You want him to find you attractive. When you do set up a date to meet him, you're there on time, you really clear your schedule for it, and you even brush up on your info of the shows or sports he likes. You're not like this even with your boyfriend, whom you've become so familiar with. You're excited to see him and do all these things, yet you still insist that you're just "hanging out with a friend."
5 You hide it or lie about him to your boyfriend.
And while all these things are going on, your boyfriend doesn't know a thing. In fact, you don't want him to know. When you're out with him you don't tell him who you're with, or when you're texting him, you hide his name or make sure your boyfriend isn't looking. You know that there's something up when you can't be completely honest with your boyfriend and you even feel guilty when he asks you if there's anything going on and you pretend like there's nothing. Feeling the need to hide it and knowing that you'll hurt his feelings if he finds out is how you know there's something wrong— even if you haven't done anything physical that might constitute cheating.
If you catch yourself doing these things with someone who isn't your boyfriend, it's time for a reality check. Be a faithful girlfriend and stop, or have the decency to talk to him at least so you can improve your relationship. So you don't have to look for something else, or something more. Emotional cheating is still cheating and there's no way cheating ends pretty. Remember that honesty and trust are the most important things to have in a relationship.