It must be the flurry of red or the high from the smell of chocolates that gives us the urge to take melodrama to a whole new level. I feel you, but there are better ways to survive the 14th of February than being mad at the world or just mad. Yes, I’m looking at you and those photos of your ex you drew horns on with a marker.
- Scowl at every happy couple you see.
Every time a couple walks by, you get an intense urge to glare at them to oblivion. Approach a happy couple and hiss, "you're going to break up soon." Grab the bouquet of flowers from the girl and throw them with much gusto then run away screaming, "I hate love!" Plus points if you stomp on them too.
- Go on a date with the first guy who asks.
It usually starts with you feeling bad because all your friends are going out on Valentine's Day. Then, a boy calls. You can't help it. Succumb to the offer whether the guy is your ex-boyfriend who can't stop flirting with other girls or a guy who has been courting you since fifth grade. Who cares, right? You need a date!
- Buy flowers and pretend it's from a secret admirer.
Of course, you won't let yourself be the girl who didn't get any gifts so you order a beautiful bouquet and have the note say "From your secret admirer" complete with an elaborate story on how surprised you are when it was delivered this morning. Better yet, have it delivered to school during class. Ha! Who's pathetic now?
- Lock yourself up in your room and binge on chocolates.Raid your fridge for all the chocolates (yes, including the ones ate got from her boyfriend.) Next step: lock yourself in your room and start popping one after the other into your mouth. Watch a sad movie while crying "I'll die alone!" Don't forget to wear non-waterproof mascara so it runs all over your cheeks.
- Cross off February 14 from the calendar.
What? February what? Oh yes, it’s February 15 already. What February 14? You're sure Valentine's Day isn't real and that this Thursday is just that: a normal Thursday. No need to make a fuss. It's not even in the calendar. Hello.
- Dress in black from head to toe.
Intricate black dress? Check. Spiky black shoes? Check. Ripped tights? Check. Black sunnies? Check. Dark eye makeup? Check! You are all dressed up for Valentine's Day a.k.a. the death anniversary of your hopes and dreams.
- Sing an intricate diva song in public.
Inspired by Glee's latest episode Diva, channel Santana Lopez by surprising your ex with a truly smoking number or Tina Cohen Chang by performing a kickass song in public. That will show him. If you’re more of the guitar-strumming kind of girl, you can always sing a Taylor Swift song that perfectly matches how he broke your heart. After all, no scorned musician will be silenced.
- Dress up as a witch and make a bonfire.
Gather all the things in your room that reminds you of your ex-boyfriend or ex-crush and burn them. Unleash your inner Bonnie Bennett by doing some serious eye twitches and chanting words no one else understands.
- Go third wheel.
Tag along with your best friend and her boyfriend during their romantic date because your BFF is all you have and you cannot absolutely leave her side. Sorry, Prince Charming. This girl is coming with you. P.S. You're paying for your girlfriend AND her best friend. Happy Valentine's Day!
- Be a miser.
No one can be happy on Valentine’s Day! I repeat, no one! Spend all day tweeting "V-day sucks! GV please! Ugh, I want to home!" and being such a grump everyone keeps a distance from. No smiling allowed!
For 10 "other" Things Single Girls Can Do On Valentine's Day, check out the February issue!