I was never supposed to like you. You were the bad boy every parent dreaded their kids would date. You were the rich, arrogant, and party-loving guy I never in a million years thought I would even consider. Granted though, I had always thought you were physically attractive but my logic loving self didn't want to let the attraction go beyond that. That was until we had to work together for a major class project. I internally cursed the teacher for randomly assigning me the biggest slacker in class. To my surprise however, you talked to me about the project and told me that despite your immense laziness you said that you actually really needed to ace this to pass the year. We worked side by side for a month or two and in that time I had come to know the boy hiding under that macho façade. I didn't like it but I had to admit that I was beginning to fall into the chaotic mess that was you. You talked to me about your love for architecture. You talked about all the crazy things you'd done and had yet to do. You made me laugh like no one else did. You had this very enchanting voice and before I knew it I had fallen hook, line, and sinker for the bad boy. Your charm had worked on me despite my battle to not give in but I guess it really was impossible to not fall for that smile.
When the project was done I felt sad because you were no longer obligated to spend time with me. I shook your hand when the last piece was placed in but before I could pull away you pulled me even closer and kissed me. It was like a really cheesy and cliché romantic comedy movie but it was ten times better than that because it was actually real. From there, we started dating. I won't lie and say that the first year of our relationship was the happiest I'd ever been. I had always been so sheltered and held the world at arm's length but you changed that. You built up this confidence in me to do things and say things I had only thought of doing inside my head. You constantly pushed for me to go out of my comfort zone and try new things. I went to places and met people I never thought was possible. I chased dreams and achieved them because you always encouraged me to go for the things I wanted. Everything felt so exciting, so fascinating, and so new. It was intense. I think that's the best way I could describe our relationship: intense. Everything was always pushed to the limits and at first it seemed like a great thing but then the magic of it, wore of eventually.
I had always been so sheltered and held the world at arm's length but you changed that. You built up this confidence in me to do things and say things I had only thought of doing inside my head.
While all the good things were extremely intense, so were the bad things. Never in my life had I screamed as much as I did while fighting with you. Never had I felt so sad when I felt like you were cheating on me. I had never been angrier, more violent, and more out of control than when you entered life. Trying new things and people are good and all but I also did things that I regret because they went beyond my moral compass. I let myself fall into your vices as well. I was afraid that if I didn't like or do the things you did, you'd leave me. What was sad was that despite our relationship going strong, everything else around me was suffering. My academics, my relationships with my friends and family, and my own personal growth had gone to a new dismal low. That's when I knew that this was no longer the relationship I needed or even wanted. I talked to you about it and you understood but you told me that you'd change for me, that because you loved me more than your vices, you'd give them up. So I agreed to another chance. For a while, it was great but eventually you started going behind my back and started to do all the things you promised to no longer do, I had enough at that point and broke things off. I realized that I could never really change the bad boy, the change should have been intrinsic for it to be real.
Don't get me wrong, I did love you and there's not a single thing I regret about the relationship. You brought me the happiness and experiences I wouldn't trade for the world. You taught me how to fight for the things that I wanted. You taught me how to love unconditionally, and how patient one has to be in love. You took me on a journey I will never forget but like any other great adventure, it had to end.