I have wondered what could have been different if I had just said it. Many times I was tempted to do so, to confess and pour my heart out just to stop myself from the torture. I guess it wasn't, still isn't, easy. I have learned to love you from a safe distance. By safe, I mean being able to pull myself back when things get close. I want it to get closer, but that's too much to ask, even for me.
You make it impossible for me. Impossible to resist every smile, every look you give with those mysterious eyes. What we are right now, I don't know. We're friends and I am happy.
What I can't make sense of is this constant lingering of affection at the end of every conversation we have. We're constantly pulling back from the things that might give us happiness and I know that if we just try to give in, maybe we could stop ourselves from this game that we've been playing and give each other the satisfaction of validity.
I'm not saying that you feel the same way or that you should. All I'm saying is that give it a try, give me a chance. I know you held yourself back from the possibilities of falling in love for many years now, but don't you think that it's time you find your way back?
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