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I Want To Be Her

Friendly reminder: you are not her.


"I want to be her."

In this current generation when we can just easily access the lives of other people through various social media, those words are escaping the lips of young girls more and more. We can spend hours clicking through blogs as a form of "research" on people we admire. And if that's not enough, we can simply scroll away through Instagram so we can know what they ate as well.

There's nothing wrong with having role models. In fact, it's even necessary. Role models are the people that make us believe in the possibility of our dreams. They help us set a clear goal on the limitations and abilities of a mortal being. It's comforting to know that these amazing people exist in the same planet we exist in, but sometimes we forget that in the end, we are still living different lives.

"I want to be her."

Sometimes, these words leave an ugly aftertaste. Far too often, when they roll off our tongue and land on our shoulders, they haunt us in the dead of the night leaving us curled up into a ball, stuck instead of dreaming.

We call it admiration—wasting away on other people's Instagram feeds wishing our own lives have better lighting conditions. But know that if it starts to make you feel ugly about your life, then maybe it's time to rid that phrase from your vocabulary.

"I want to be her."

When it starts to feel too heavy on the shoulders, when it leaves you with a worsening posture in front of computer screens knee-deep in self-pity then know that that's not longer admiration.

You are not her.

You are yourself and you have your own life to live. Remember that you are a work in progress. I know it's not easy and I know it's not an overnight process. But if you just give yourself a chance, if you just learn to love yourself past the flaws and the bad stuff, maybe you'll see the beautiful truth too: You are worthy of admiration. 

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About the Author

Cidee Despi
Candymag.com Correspondent

She is a liberal arts student by weekdays and a fanatic of everything art every day. Her hobbies include getting emotional over really good mixtapes and spoken word poetry.

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