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How Do You Deal With Fear?
Ever been dubbed a scaredy cat?

No way! You'd be the first to take on any dare thrown your way! But what if you were faced with another challenge—one that calls for a different kind of guts?

The Cab Scene
You need to get to Jane's house to work on a project but no one can take you! Your dad and your brothers are out, so you decide to take a cab. All goes well until the cabbie asks you what you're going to do in Jane's house. You answer. Then he asks you where you go to school. Uh-oh. His questions are beginning to make you uncomfortable. It was one thing to answer one question, but a barrage of them is a bit much.

Your Fear Factor:

  • If you tell him to stop asking questions, he may take offense and who knows what he'd do! You are at his mercy after all since he is behind the wheel.
  • Continue answering his questions, and you may give away too much information! Remember: he is a stranger no matter how nice he seems. You have to protect yourself at all costs.

Don't Be Afraid To:

  • Take out your rosary! Yup, you read right. And in your sweetest voice possible say, "Manong, nagdadasal po ako."  This way, you can keep your eyes on the road—and call on protection from your guardian angel, too!
  • Bring out a book and nicely tell the driver that you're studying for a test and you need to memorize lots of formulas. Then begin reciting to yourself. You may actually get some studying done!

The Scapegoat Scene
Your good friend Tracy needs you to cover for her—again. She's sneaking out of the house to meet John, and her parents will freak if they find out! So she tells them she's going to your house instead. You were willing to do this before but it's becoming a habit. What happens if you bump into Tracy's mom and she asks you all sorts of questions? You were never one to lie!

Your Fear Factor:

  • Tracy gets caught and you get caught too! Her parents will blame you and your reputation with them will be ruined forever!
  • If you refuse to cover for Tracy, she might just find someone else to do it and end up in a mess anyway. Or she may take it against you and think you're against the blossoming of their true love. (Duh!)

Don't Be Afraid To:

  • Give her the facts. She is abusing her parents' trust, and if she gets caught, she will have to face the consequences. If she opens up to them, they may even try to give John a chance.
  • Tell her that you don't want to cover for her anymore. You have to be firm about this. If she gets caught, you will be blamed too! And you can't expect her parents to trust you again.

The Notes Scene
You have a major chemistry exam tomorrow morning. As you leaf through your notes, Anne approaches. She leans her head on your shoulder and, in a syrupy voice, asks, "May I borrow your notes for our exam tomorrow? Pretty please!"  Anne is one of your dearest friends. You promised her you'd help her pass chem this year. But when you think about it, she doesn't listen in class, she barely opens a textbook, and whenever she borrows your notes, she never returns them! You need to pass chem, too! And you need your notes to pass that exam! Tough call? You bet!

Fear Factor:

  • Tell her off and you'd not only endanger your friendship, she'd blame you if she failed chem! Could you live that down?
  • If you give her your notes and beg her to return them first thing tomorrow morning, you can forget passing junior year! 

Don't Be Afraid To:

  • Head for the photocopy machine and run all 30 pages through the copier. But remember to tell Anne that she needs to start taking her own notes too.
  • Suggest other ways you two could study together where both of you can contribute. Who knows? You might learn a thing or two from her!

The Most Wanted Scene
You and Jane are cruising the mall when you spot the cutest sneaks! You make a mad dash for them and call Jane over. When she lays eyes on them, she starts jumping up and down squealing that they'd look perfect on her feet. Her feet? Wait a minute! Didn't you see them first?! Fine. You can compromise. You ask the sales lady for two pairs in the same size. Surprise, surprise! There's just one pair. Now what?  

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Your Fear Factor:

  • Losing the cutest sneaks you've ever laid eyes on-and seeing them on Jane's perky feet are just enough to drive you nuts!
  • Fighting with Jane over a pair of shoes! Hello! Will they matter in a couple of months? Isn't your friendship more important?

Don't Be Afraid To:

  • Flip a coin or play jack and poy! But before you do, tell yourself not to feel too bad if you don't get them.
  • Let her buy them, then ask her if you may borrow them. This may be tricky, so draw up rules like you need to give her two days' notice before borrowing it.
  • Let her have it...Then make a deal to scour the mall for another ultra-cute pair of sneaks, or an adorable top. That way, you both don't go home empty-handed!

The Curfew Scene
You're at a rocking party, and you're having the time of your life! From the looks of it, everyone else is too-and so is Tracy, your ride home! A quick glance at your watch tells you your curfew is fast approaching. If you leave now, you'll make it home on time. You walk up to Tracy, but the minute she sees you, she shakes her head. She is having way too much fun to leave now. Groundsville, here I come!

Your Fear Factor:

  • Being a Kill-Joy. ‘Nuff said.
  • Mom and Dad allowed you to go to the party only if you promised to come home early. If you break your curfew, you might as well kiss your social life goodbye! 

Don't Be Afraid To:

  • Immediately call Mom and Dad and explain the situation to them. But be prepared. They might get upset, but at least they'll know where you are and they won't worry.
  • Tell Tracy that you just called your parents and they really want you home. If she still refuses to leave or begs you for a few more minutes, tell her that you'll blame her if your parents ground you.
  • Ask your most reliable boy bud if he could take you home. He could always come back to the party if he doesn't want to go home yet. Thank him the next day by treating him to a nice, large frap.
  • Make sure that the next time you need to ride home with someone, she also has a curfew to follow. You can both watch for each other and make sure you both get home on time.

Experts consulted: Chinie Hidalgo, former high school religion teacher and facilitator, Assumption College, and Nympha Banzon, high school guidance counselor,

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About the author
Ines Bautista-Yao
Former Editor in Chief, Candy
ines@candymag.com
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