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From Our Readers: To the Guy I Thought Was the One
I hated myself for the reason that I loved you with everything that I had, leaving none for myself.
ART Trixie Ison

To the Guy I Thought Was the One

Poems. Songs. Letters. I've written thousands of those ever since you walked out of my life. I've had sleepless nights that has given me awful bags under my eyes. Millions of unanswered questions kept running through my head, an endless wave of confusion. I hated you. But most of all, I hated myself.

I hated myself for the reason that I loved you with everything that I had, leaving none for myself. I hated myself for the reason that I trusted you when you have given me every reason not to. I hated myself for thinking that things would get better and that time would come that you would change. But most of all, I hated myself for believing that you were the one for me, my eternity, my happy ever after.

READThis Is How You Fall In Love

I don't remember exactly how things fell apart. All I know is that you became more and more distant as the days passed by. It was as if you just woke up one morning and decided that you don't want me anymore. Everyday I felt the space between us get bigger and bigger until I decided to ask you what you wanted. You never really gave me an answer but I didn't need to hear it from you. I knew what you would say so I said it first.

I may have been the one who said the words but you were already walking away even before I uttered the words "Let's just stop this." You didn't even try to pull me back. You didn't even try to make me stay. I hated you for that, but I also thank you.

READTo The Guy I Foolishly Chased After

Thank you because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have known my worth. Thank you because now I can finally experience a life of my own. Thank you because now, I can decide without constantly thinking about what you would say or how you would feel. Thank you because now I can finally see my worth and the standard that I should put up. Thank you because I realized that there are so many other things I could be happy about. Thank you because I can finally be who I really am and not who you want me to be. Thank you because now I could finally rekindle my relationship with God who felt so absent in the years we shared. Thank you because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met him. I wouldn't have met the guy who shows me that I am a precious diamond, one that should be taken care of and valued. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met the guy who reminded me every day of how beautiful I am, how special I am and how loved I am.

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Thank you because I can finally be who I really am and not who you want me to be.

READHere's How You Fall in Love with an Idea

So thank you. Thank you for letting me go. You were the cocoon before I transformed into a butterfly. No, I don't regret the time we had together, let alone meeting you. You were always the one who taught me that there will always be a rainbow after the rain. And for that, I thank you for being my storm.

Sent in by Bea Ibarra. Got your own story to tell? Drop us an email at candymagazine @gmail.com! We'd love to hear what you have to say. If you're lucky, you just might get published in this space, too! Please indicate if you want to remain anonymous. We're also looking for artwork and illustrations to use with the stories, so please send some in if you want to be featured!

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