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From Our Readers: My Prayer Before I Go To Sleep At Night
Love is a risk, a gamble, a wide ocean full of mysteries.
ART Trixie Ison

No, I won't pray to be with you tonight.

I remember those nights when I cried and pray just to have one more day, one more moment, one more time with you. And now it hit me that I shouldn't do it anymore especially when I'm just the only who wants it. I learned a lot of things from loving you.

Loving someone doesn't mean the other person SHOULD give something in return. Commitment, acceptance, or love in return is much sweeter when it's given freely. Loving someone means "I want you to be happy whether I'm the reason of it or not," supporting every decision that you make regardless if I'm part of it or not, or you watching you make our dreams come true, whether it's with me or someone else.

Love is a risk, a gamble, a wide ocean full of mysteries. And the deeper you go, the harder it gets; the more you'll get drown in it 'til there's no way you can get out. As a package deal, it's your feelings, your love, and your life is the risk. But still, you wouldn't know 'til you jump in it and feel it yourself.

I believe that you'll know you really love someone not just at your happiest, where you feel those butterflies in your stomach, or the moment your heart skip a beat and make it harder for you to breathe.  It's also when you feel those tiny little aches in your heart when you see him sad, or those days where all you want to do is hug your pillow and wish he was there beside you and the thought of losing him makes you crazy already. Well that's the thing about it, it's a roller coaster ride of UPs and DOWNs and in the end you'll see if he's still beside you to with stand everything or you end up being alone or with someone else's holding your hand at the end of your ride.

I believe that you'll know you really love someone not just at your happiest, where you feel those butterflies in your stomach, or the moment your heart skip a beat and make it harder for you to breathe.  It's also when you feel those tiny little aches in your heart when you see him sad, or those days where all you want to do is hug your pillow and wish he was there beside you and the thought of losing him makes you crazy already.

So tonight, I pray to God to give me the courage to withstand everything with Him by my side. That may He fill my heart with so much love and faith to love myself more than I love you or anyone else. For me to be a better person, so when that time comes where He'd give me my own "Romeo and Juliet" kind of love story, I'm a better a me, a stronger me, a braver me... without you.

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