Features
From Our Readers: I Wish You Told Me Why You Went Away
Over the past months, my life has been a series of back and forths, of trying to hold on or let go, of waiting or leaving.
ART Trixie Ison

It has been been 4 months since you've been gone. It was silly of me to think it would be that easy to forget everything in a snap. During those months I tried to be occupied by a lot of things. I kept myself busy so I wouldn't end up thinking about you. Sure, I have forgotten about you but I only did when exams, quizzes, and a lot of school requirements filled my days. But when I lay at night I couldn't lie, I still think of you. Only you.

I wonder if I was somehow bewitched or something, baby coz Icouldn'tt quite comprehend what's happening to me. I used to be this carefree person who don't give a damn about boys. Sure I had crushes, but this is quite something. You are quite something.

Over the past months, my life has been a series of back and forths, of trying to hold on or let go, of waiting or leaving. And that has been the hardest part. There were days when I felt so sick of  waiting, I loathed you. There were days I actually thought the game was over, I was finally over you.  The truth is, I only wanted to forget about you to get away from this horrible feeling. The kind that tears you apart at day, when you're supposed to be doing some important matters. And at night, when your mind is supposed to be resting. I feel like I'm in a maze. There are a lot of channels open leading up to others. I couldn't quite grasp where to go. I'm not even sure if I can go through one channel coz every time I try to, I see you. I see every picture of you around and I give up. I become so weak.

Every time I'd find the courage to let go, something always pulls me back. Something always tells me to hold on some more. I want you, I wanted it to be you so bad. I ignored all the standards I've set for you only to find out you were gone. You drifted away so fast without me knowing, without any reason. You made me drown with thoughts of maybes and what ifs. And that's gonna be the death of my silly heart or head. I know this is just infatuation but why does it hurt so bad? Why do I have to search for you in the hallways and everywhere I go? Why do I bother checking up your facebook profile over and over? Why do I still think of you and me ending up being together?

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

I don't know what you got but I let my walls down for you. I asked God if it's you, I guess the answer is NO. And I'm trying to be okay with that.

I just hoped you told me honestly why you went away. I just hoped you gave me a reason. I don't even mind if you'll give me an excuse for goodness sake! I miss you. God, I miss you so much. I hope you realize it's you that I want. I know now, no more letting go. I can't, when I still want you. Please come back, C.

Sent in by ChaGot feels? Submit your story and get published!

your REACTION
HEART

27

OMG

3

YAY

2

BOO

0

CUTE

0

EWW

0

/////////////////////////////
COMMENTS. JOIN THE DISCUSSION BELOW!
About the author
You!
Our Readers
The good stuff straight from our readers! Submit your feels: candymag.com/candy-feels and see them on the site.
VIEW OTHER ARTICLES FROM From
Comments
latest on CandyMag.com
 
x
Share
But I want you to know that I tried my best.
 
x
Share
The up-and-coming musicians and childhood friends talk about their music, creative process, and why it's important to be woke.
 
x
Share
Because when it comes to a great lip game, there's really no need to splurge!
 
x
Share
A different language sheds new light on everyday terms.
 
x
Share
Take advantage of the cooler weather in the metro!
 
x
Share
Here's why you shouldn't feel insecure when you're the last to stay single.
 
x
Share
Plus his brand new music video for his latest single, "Too Much To Ask."
 
x
Share
These ponytails may be ~extra~, but can totes be copped at home!
LOAD MORE ARTICLES