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Love makes us feel real. There’s nothing greater than knowing that someone believes in you and cares that you exist. Imagine living in a world where nobody knows who you are—nobody cares if you have no more food to eat, no more place to stay, or no more new clothes to wear. That would suck BIG TIME.

I have just finished reading one of the greatest children’s stories of all time—The Velveteen Rabbit and what I loved about this story is how it presented love in a way that’s plainly true and simple. Direct to the point.

The story was about a little toy rabbit made of velveteen. Who was first neglected, then found love, then lost that love. Read more about it here.

My favorite part of the story is this:

“Weeks passed, and the little Rabbit grew very old and shabby, but the Boy loved him just as much. He loved him so hard that he loved all his whiskers off, and the pink lining to his ears turned grey, and his brown spots faded. He even began to lose his shape, and he scarcely looked like a rabbit any more, except to the Boy. To him he was always beautiful, and that was all that the little Rabbit cared about.”

As I was reading this I thought is it possible to love without having to feel uncomfortable in any way? Is there even the slightest possibility to love conveniently without having to give out so much of one self? I don’t want to grow “old and shabby” so to speak.

But then I realized, we would only truly know how much we have loved and been loved if at the end of it all, we’re worn out. It’s a sad truth, but speaks about what’s REAL. There are lots of great people giving their lives up for those they love…
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In the span of one and a half months, I lost two grandmothers. I’ve written about Ninang Velia a few weeks back. Last Thursday, my paternal grandma, whom we all call Nanny, died from a massive heart attack after a connecting flight in Darwin, Australia. She was traveling alone to her cousins in Melbourne. She never saw them. She never got to board the last leg of her trip.

My family is still in shock. We are all like zombies in the house. Last Thursday, I still went to school after learning the horrible news early in the morning, and in my classes, I would suddenly realize that I was staring blankly at my professors. Whenever I snapped out of my blankness, I’d just nod or smile, because I was practically an android.

As I type this, I’m on a plane back to Manila. I spent the weekend in Singapore, where my mom is now based. We had arranged for me to fly in on her first weekend, so she’d have some company. As it happened, I was the one without company for a couple of days, since my mom had flown out to Australia on the worst trip ever—the trip to check Nanny’s body, to gather her belongings, arrange for her cremation and the shipment of her ashes, and so on.

Forgive me for this entry. I can’t find anything to rave about these days. Even this past weekend in Singapore was the worst weekend I’ve ever spent in my beloved little island. If Singapore couldn’t cheer me up, I don’t know what will. Hehe.

Anyway, let me just share this song that’s on repeat on my iPod right now. It’s a bonus track off the movie soundtrack of RENT. The late Jonathan Larson, RENT’s creator, wrote this song but not as a part of the production, and it was included in the film soundtrack as a tribute to him.

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I digress. No matter how corny I may look now to everyone after saying this but I am still the type of girl who believes in fairy tales and happy endings. The hopeless romantic in me still owns a very big piece of my personality and I am not afraid to admit it. I know that it is the 21st generation and things have advanced but in my opinion, the boy next door, the knight and shining armour, the pretty boy, and even the handsome prince can still exist today—in their own unique ways. Maybe I am just too much of a weak link for love stories that I fail to see reality but then again, maybe reality just failed to see those love stories.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved the Disney Classics like Cinderella, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast. *whispers* Our little secret—I still watch it again if it replays on TV. And as I grew up, more fairy tale stories were made into movies. Sometimes, the script is just retaliated, revised, and tweaked a little but they all end with “they live happily ever after.” In our generation, it is what you consider as “chick flicks,” “romantic comedy,” “love story,” and many more rephrased genres. Being a movie buff myself, I constantly enjoy watching those types of movies and I will always have my favorites. Well basically, they are countless since I have cried in oh-so-many movies already but there will always be those movies that just touch my heart in so many ways.

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