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There’s too many things that I haven’t done yet
Too many sunsets
I haven’t seen
You can’t waste the day wishing it’d slow down
You would’ve thought by now
I’d have learned something

I made up my mind when I was a young girl
I’ve been given this one world
I won’t worry it away
But now and again I lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in
— “Many the Miles” by Sara Bareilles

I must confess that I tend to be a worry-wart. I’m improving though I still get stressed out about a lot of things. What’s the biggest enemy I usually fight? Time. I get worried that I’ll run out of time to accomplish the things I want to do.

However, last Saturday I learned a valuable lesson… My grand aunt (my paternal grandfather’s sister), Lola Floring, celebrated her 90th birthday!

There are really 90 candles! Count them if you can.

I still find it hard to imagine living on this world for ninety years. It’s such an incredible feat and she has set such an excellent example. Plenty of people from all over the world came to celebrate the event (Switzerland, France, USA—to name a few). It made me think of the impact she has made on their lives and how loved she is.

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About three months ago, my aunt sent me a link to YouTube that featured a video of “The Last Lecture” of a computer engineering professor from Carnegie Mellon University in the US. It was aptly called The Last Lecture because he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and had only a few months left to live.

His name was Randy Pausch and he was only 47 years old.  A few days ago he passed away, leaving a loving wife and three small children. It struck me to hear about such an amazing man, whose words reached the corners of the world, inspiring millions. (The 75-minute lecture put on YouTube was viewed by more than five million people online.)

In the video, Randy talked about his simple dreams as a child, adolescent and adult.  Of the five main dreams, he fulfilled all except the one of playing for the US’ National Football League. He said, however, that that one unfulfilled dream perhaps taught him the most about life than those he accomplished.

The brick walls are there for a reason.

Every obstacle, every barrier one encounters is necessary for one to succeed. Even if the human mind cannot comprehend these walls, there is a rationale for everything. I cry, I ask “why,” I get upset when things don’t come my way.  I forget that God won’t give me anything I can’t handle; that any obstacle is only there to train me like an athlete to try better next time.

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I’ve been pretty stressed lately, mainly, because of school. You know how it is when we’re busy, we’re so caught up with things and it’s pretty difficult to make time to think and ponder why we’re doing what we do. I mean, seriously, what is the purpose of a lot of the things we do in life? We don’t calculate our every expense to the nth root; neither do we attempt to discover the history of our toothpaste.

That being said, I have, noticeably, been victimized by the enemy that is STRESS and this time, I’d like to pause for a while, take a breather, and recall the things in life that inspire me, and some of the reasons why I do what I do. Here goes:

1. I want to graduate and get a good life for myself
   I don’t want to be dependent on people my whole life. I want to be able to stand on my own someday and know that I’ve accomplished this much and I can survive in this world given the skills that I have been equipped with – my education. My knowledge. Main point: I want to rule the world. Uh, no. But I do want to take control of my own life.
2. I want to graduate and get a good life for my family
   They’ve given me so much. They’ve helped me through a lot of things. I’d obviously have that desire to give back to them. I want them to live in an amazing house, with lots of beautiful cars. I want to give my mom and my sister trendy clothes and my dad and brother… whatever guys like. Haha Main point: I just want to be close to them, I’ve been far from them too long, that’s so not good for me.
3. I want to know about children
   One of my many passions is children. I love kids. I love making a difference in their lives. There’s something about those little ones that decrease my stress level from 100 to 1.

Take it from me Candy girls, if you want sanity amidst life’s hullabaloos, pause a while. Take time off, even just 5 minutes, to lie on your bed, close your eyes and think of the reasons why you do the things you do. It may be shallow, like, “I want to buy this bag” or “I want my crush to notice me,” I mean, hey, at least your doing it for something. That’s a start.

As for me, I have to list down, maybe 20 more to get my mind off my history report! Aaaaaaaah!

Nonetheless, smile.

Grace Under Pressure,
Crissy

Love makes us feel real. There’s nothing greater than knowing that someone believes in you and cares that you exist. Imagine living in a world where nobody knows who you are—nobody cares if you have no more food to eat, no more place to stay, or no more new clothes to wear. That would suck BIG TIME.

I have just finished reading one of the greatest children’s stories of all time—The Velveteen Rabbit and what I loved about this story is how it presented love in a way that’s plainly true and simple. Direct to the point.

The story was about a little toy rabbit made of velveteen. Who was first neglected, then found love, then lost that love. Read more about it here.

My favorite part of the story is this:

“Weeks passed, and the little Rabbit grew very old and shabby, but the Boy loved him just as much. He loved him so hard that he loved all his whiskers off, and the pink lining to his ears turned grey, and his brown spots faded. He even began to lose his shape, and he scarcely looked like a rabbit any more, except to the Boy. To him he was always beautiful, and that was all that the little Rabbit cared about.”

As I was reading this I thought is it possible to love without having to feel uncomfortable in any way? Is there even the slightest possibility to love conveniently without having to give out so much of one self? I don’t want to grow “old and shabby” so to speak.

But then I realized, we would only truly know how much we have loved and been loved if at the end of it all, we’re worn out. It’s a sad truth, but speaks about what’s REAL. There are lots of great people giving their lives up for those they love…
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We live in the urban area, which has clinics and hospitals all over. Have you ever wondered how the people in the rural areas respond to their health situation? Where do they go for check-ups or emergencies?  Well, my thesis mates and I decided to research on this for our thesis.

Shai, Kath, Me, Ariane, and Cha

From our preliminary data, we found out that there is a mountain clinic in Guihulngan, Bacolod Oriental. Yes, a clinic in Mount Kansalakan. The Franciscan brothers decided to build a mountain clinic to take care of the health of the residents of Barangay Banwague.

My thesis mates and I went to the mountain clinic last May 2008 for our thesis immersion/ethnography. We spent a week to interact with the residents, learn from their activities and practices, “nakipamuhay kami” to understand their situation and how they cope with their problems regarding health.

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