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It’s official—today is the last day of May. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always reacted to the unofficial end of summer in very different ways. If I was having a particularly good summer vacation, I’d avoid anything that had to do with the 31^st of May like the plague. On the other hand, if I was having one of those boring, sweltering, I-miss-my-friends-and-I’m-stuck-at-home summers, this day couldn’t come soon enough. Another downside (or upside) to this day is that in a week or two, we’ll be off to spend another year in school. But no matter what kind of vacation you just had, the last day of May usually comes at you with a very important question: what have you got to show for the past two months?

For some, it’s the new-found ability to switch TV channels 5 times faster than anyone else using the remote control. For the others, it could be a new skill, talent, or hobby that they spent all summer developing. Some people out there might have traveled to different lands and learned about different cultures, while others gathered memories of just staying at home and bonding with their families. At the end of each summer, it’s always a good idea to look back on how you spent the days you couldn’t wait for during the school year. This summer..

1. I survived my freshman year at the University of the Philippines Manila! I can’t believe how long it’s been since my very first day.
   
   
2. I turned 18! Finally, legality!
   
   
3. I saw something I’ve always wanted to see.
   

I think all summers should be spent taking a break, trying new things, and of course, learning. That’s the best thing about summer—there are no rules. Instead of being confined to a classroom, you’ve got the whole world right in front of you, waiting to be explored. Instead of sticking to curriculums and books, you get to pick out as many things as you want to try, develop and learn about. But the one thing that’s just never going to change? You never stop learning So go on, Candy Girls! It’s not too late to have the summer you always wanted.

Wishing you more awesome summers to come,
Cre

Posted in Red-Letter Days | 4 Comments »

I know, I know, it seems really tacky to broadcast it to the entire world, but it’s my 18^th! Read: the big cheese. I skipped the big party—no cotillions here. I went somewhere far away to celebrate with my family instead! The best birthday gift this year? The super cold weather! So anyway, here’s a thought: do birthdays ever stop being, well, birthday-like?

photo via The Scenic Route

Back when we were kids, celebrating your birthday meant getting a huge frosty cake, serving Pinoy style spaghetti to all your friends and opening lots and lots of toys. If your parents were feeling particularly generous, you’d celebrate with a full-blown kiddie party with a mascot and/or clown, not to mention every single person you’re related to, present. Games, loot bags, animal balloons and pabitin included. We were all princesses for a day—no one could say no to us. And when the day was over, we all wished that our next birthday would come a little sooner.

As we got older, our birthdays got more and more practical. We made different choices, celebrated with different people and wanted different things. Huge birthday parties became less frequent as quality time with the special people in our lives on our very own day took over. It didn’t matter if we were just hanging out on the couch, gearing up for a DVD marathon or getting ready for a night out to some major partying. No clowns, no loot bags, no magician.

The celebration methods may have changed, but the concept of your birthday, your day, is still the same. It’s the one day a year when you feel on top of the world. Everything is just a little bit shinier and better, because on that day, nothing that bad could possibly happen. You may be sharing your birthday with tons of other people around the world, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you get to relive some of the magic you had when you were 5 years old. You still feel the excitement tingling throughout your whole body as you wait for the clock to strike twelve. There may not be a guy twisting balloons into animals outside your door, but that doesn’t make your day any less special. Friends > party mascots, right? Plus, everyone just has to be nice to you today! Bad karma awaits anyone who messes with the birthday girl.

How do you feel about turning a year older, Candy Girls?

Posted in Red-Letter Days, Reflections | 4 Comments »

Fact: I always wear black whenever I have to take a math exam.

Believe it or not, the fact stated above is based on pure, total and absolute coincidence. Another fact: I always remember important dates and events based on what I was wearing on that day. The same goes for my friends – the academic year is ending and I can still remember what my college barkada and I wore on our first day of school about 10 months ago! I don’t think you can call that an actual talent, but it certainly helps whenever I just have to remember the exact day I returned a library book, etc. You get the idea.

So while reviewing for my math finals, I started going back to the previous exams. I was trying to remember the exact pointers and topics included in those exams when I realized I had worn black for every single one of them, if I remember correctly. If you read my last entry, which was also a little bit related to math, you’ll know that I just don’t like it. Not one bit. And yes, this is the second time in a row that I’m writing a blog entry about math. What has gotten into me? (clue: lack of precious, precious sleep)

I put the studying on hold for a few minutes and started to convince myself that the black clothing was really just coincidental. Of course it had nothing to do with the fact that I scare myself silly and get this close to freaking out whenever I’m about to take a math exam. It also has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve got my “I’m doomed-I’m doomed-I’m going to fail” tape playing on a loop inside my mind. Of course I’m not in mourning for the exam. I also don’t feel like I’m walking to my death every single time.. right. Likely story.

I realize that, once again, I’ve got the entirely wrong attitude for the situation. Wearing black may not have an actual effect on the test itself, but it couldn’t hurt to try wearing brighter colors to get my spirits up and reinforce the positive, bright, shiny and overall happy attitude I’m going to need. Right now, I’m thinking bright, maybe yellow shoes.

They could come in handy when you’re attacking a particularly hard problem: all you have to do is look down, take a deep breath and keep going. It’s all about psyching yourself up and getting rid of all the bad energy. You can count on me to be a great big (okay, maybe not that big) ball of sunshine and rainbow colors the next time I have to take another math exam.

Or maybe I’ll stick to the yellow shoes for now.

Posted in Etcetera, Red-Letter Days | No Comments »

(I’ve never been one to stick with the rules, and when it comes to math, I’m not too keen on making exceptions. So when you asked us to basically write about the end of the semester, I decided to do it the way most things—business deals, relationships, etc.—usually start: with a letter.)

Dear Professor ________,

The University of the Philippines—it’s every student’s dream. And now that the first semester of my first year in college is drawing to an end, I would love to be able to say that I made a mark as a student. I would want nothing more right now than to look back on these past few months and see myself as the ideal student—the kind that always had her hand up in the air, always had insanely high scores, always came to class on time, always brought her Math I module, always raced to find the answers before anyone else. I wanted to be known by name, not just by my student number. I hoped to be the kind of student no teacher could ever forget.

But looking back, I can’t seem to see even a shadow of that ideal student. All I see is a student who, in between taking down notes and listening, paused every so often to a.) Whip out her phone and text nothing of actual importance or b.) Take a bite of whatever it was she bought from the cafeteria before entering the classroom. I remember crossing my fingers and silently praying that my index card would remain hidden in the pile so I wouldn’t have to recite in class. I don’t remember waking up on a certain Monday/Thursday and feeling all psyched and raring to get to math class. You can pretty much say I failed at becoming the student I thought I was destined to become. Despite all the fresh beginnings and resolutions to change, I let my biases against math get to me once again. My entire Math I class passed right through me.

But I guess that just about sums up the most important thing I learned in Math I which, coincidentally, has nothing to do with math—there are no ideal students. There are no factory-made, cookie-cutter-type students, only those who try their best and whose efforts are recognized, encouraged, and pushed further by their teachers. There is no predestination—you become your own “ideal student” by working through it day after day. I can honestly say that this is the first time I’ve ever actually thought of trying harder. I’ve been so used to taking the backseat when it came to math—I always let the others race ahead of me. But for some reason, Math I made me want to try harder. It challenged me to do better. Throughout the whole semester, I did my best to try and keep up with the rest of them. There were times when I felt I was at the top of my game, but there were also times when I was panting like crazy and struggling to keep up. I didn’t finish first, but I got to the finish line.

The truth is I will never love math. I will never look at a page full of numbers and feel thrilled or excited or challenged. I will never jump to my feet and be assertive when it comes to matters involving even the slightest bit of math. The “Oh-no,-math-again?” sigh I’ve perfected over time will never be replaced by a shout of glee. I will never love math, but what I can do is learn to appreciate it. I’d like to think I’m not a lost cause yet. One day, the light bulb in my head will go off with a *ting!*, and I know that that will be the moment when I finally get math. And when that time finally comes, I’m sure I’m going to remember the math professor who once told me that it was okay to fail—making him one that I would never forget.
I’d like to end this letter with nothing but happy thoughts and good wishes to you, Sir, but that would fall under “following the rules,” wouldn’t it? So instead, I’ll extend my greeting to your future students—I hope they realize how lucky they are.

P.S.
You once told us that, if by the end of the semester, we were able to look you in the eyes and tell you we did our best, you would be proud of us, regardless of the grades we’ve earned. Well, I hate to break it to you, Sir, but I’m not exactly sure if I did my absolute best. I can tell you one thing I’m sure of, though: not once during this semester did I think of giving up, because I knew I had a teacher who would not give up on me.

Posted in Reflections | No Comments »

The Backstreet Boys concert was amazing.

At least, that’s what the pictures seem to tell me. You know, the pictures taken by the people who were actually there. I can’t believe I missed their concert—again!

© Pong Castillo

The Backstreet Boys were a huge part of my childhood. They were, literally and figuratively, everything to me back then. Justin who? I didn’t even start to appreciate the uber-hotness that is Justin Timberlake until waaay after N*Sync ended. There were no other boy bands (more like no other boys, period) out there, just AJ, Howie, Brian, Kevin, and Nick. Ahhh, Nick. Recess time circa 1999-2000 with my friends was spent fighting over which BSB to marry and daily allowances were saved up for their latest posters and albums. I swear, one patch of my wall has always been lighter than the rest of it for as long as I can remember.

But eventually, we all took the posters down, stored away our CD collections, and (kind of) stopped believing that Nick Carter would magically appear on our doorsteps and ask us to marry him. All of a sudden, our all-time favourite Backstreet Boys tunes were considered (gasp!) novelty songs. After we snapped out of our BSB funk, different music genres started popping out of nowhere. They’ve probably always been around, we just weren’t interested enough to give other music styles and artists the time of day. We all found something else we were interested in and promptly moved on.

Girl power bands and artists eventually came, emo/rock/punk/heavy metal took on the music scene for a while, and even more boy bands appeared and tried to steal the hearts of many shrieking girls out there (some were successful, some weren’t). But agree with me on this one—there has to be a reason why you have at least the chorus of your favorite Backstreet Boys song memorized by heart. You don’t even need a minute to think about it. Your mouth just opens and the lyrics tumble out almost automatically. Hiatus, a missing member, and 10 years later, it’s almost as if they were never gone in the first place. Now, an arena of people singing their hearts out to all the songs that take them back to their childhood/teenage years while looking at the same people they idolized and hopelessly crushed on for years and years? It must’ve been awesome.

So, any news on whether Nick is single or not? My doorstep hasn’t given up yet!

Posted in Etcetera, What's In | 1 Comment »