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Hi, girls!

Judging from the past entries on this blog (wow, we’re on our third week now!), May sure is a merry month with all the parties and special occasions in the lives of the COC 8 girls. Having said that, allow me to detour a little, because my grandmother passed away yesterday.

This was taken New Year’s Day last year, before I left to study in Singapore for one semester.

Truthfully, I don’t know what to write. Numbness is my current [non-]emotion. It’s not the kind of numbness that comes after too much pain, or the kind that’s borne out of denial. I think it’s more caused by exhaustion. I’m in the midst of wrapping up all my summer stuff—summer class, internship, and a presentation at a research conference in late May—and it’s been hard to juggle everything. (And yes, that was a very selfish thing to say.) My class finals, in fact, was the reason why I didn’t get to go to the hospital this weekend—I was at home with my BFF (a fine arts grad), illustrating my children’s storybook. I felt so bad about it, but as one friend pointed out, I couldn’t have known that it was going to be my grandma’s penultimate day.

The whole family has been able to prepare ourselves for her demise, as we’ve seen her get worse in the hospital this last week and realized she could go anytime. At age 91, I suppose it was time. She was in a lot of pain, and her indomitable fighting spirit was already faltering.

Ninang Velia, as everyone calls her, is actually my grandaunt, the sister of my maternal grandmother. Ever since my “real” granny passed away in 1991, Ninang Velia has been mother and grandmother not just to our branch of the family tree (my mom’s second in a brood of seven, and we’re now 19 grandkids), but to the entire tree (Ninang has 9 other siblings, if I’m not mistaken, so we’re a huuuge clan). She was never married, so she was everyone’s aunt, mother, and grandmother. She was everyone’s Ninang Velia.

I find myself at a loss for words, not because I don’t know know what to write about her, but because there’s everything to write, and I’m afraid of not doing her justice in a paragraph or two. Ninang would have hated a very melancholy entry, anyway. She was happiest when everyone was laughing, playing, and hanging out. I’m so sure she’d throw a fit in heaven if we all went the emo direction. No, this wake’s going to be a party, and it’s going to celebrate Ninang’s life—a very rich and full life. It’s going to celebrate Ninang Velia, who was one of the most beautiful, most amazing women I knew in real life.

Ninang will be missed terribly, but I’m sure she’s crazy happy in heaven, where she can hang out with her siblings and friends who went before her, and where no one will scold her if she drinks all the Coke and eats all the lechon she wants. Hehehe.

Huh. I’m not sure my entry made much sense. Haha. But as for you, fellow Candy girls, live life to the fullest. No regrets, girls.

<3,
Micah