Candy Feels
To the Friend Who Saw Me Through My Heartbreak
An open letter to the friend who made broken life beautiful.

Remember that one Sunday night on a cold November when I texted you a crying emoticon? :'(

Yes, that was the night my cheating boyfriend broke up with me. I was crying so hard that time. I badly needed someone to talk to. Absent-mindedly, it was you who appeared in my thoughts. But I couldn't think clearly enough to grasp the words to say, to illustrate the indescribable feeling I've had that night. And somehow, a crying emoticon was just what I was able to say. I couldn't even reply when you repeatedly asked me "What happened?"

The morning after, I came to work crying. You sat there with me at the pantry and listened to me while I cried.

After that day, you knew exactly what I needed. You were there when I needed someone to listen to me. You were there with me when I needed to cry. You were there when I don't want to feel alone. You were there all along.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening to me even when I've just been repeating what I've said for the nth time.

Thank you for that warm sweater you lent me on that cold December night.

Thank you for that pack of tissue you gave me. It made me look more civilized when I was crying in public.

Thank you for taking care of me that night when I got drunk and wasted.

Thank you for letting me ugly-cry for hours, and for that "Hate to See Your Heart Break" song that you sent to me the following day. I'm sorry for the pain that I may have radiated to you though.

Thank you for that list of songs with lyrics that just meant a lot.

Thank you for texting me links to random things to cheer me up.

Thank you for a number of feel-good movies you let me watch.

Thank you for that box of silver moon tea that warmed my heart.

Thank you for that L4D2 game that we played on for hours and hours.

Thank you for making me realize what kind of an asshole he was.

Thank you for opening me up to new experiences and adventures.

Thank you for telling me to "focus on myself." Honestly, it was the best advice I've ever received. Now you're telling me that I'm someone who's strong because I'm doing so much progress on this "moving on" thing. When in fact, I only just listened to what you have said.

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Sometimes, I wonder what good have I done to ever deserve a friend like you. I haven't really been a good friend to you in the first place. I feel awful and guilty when I realize how I neglected our friendship that time when I was still with him.

Sometimes, I wonder what good have I done to ever deserve a friend like you.

You don't know how much you helped me in putting myself back again after that dark November crisis. Because of you, I realize my self-worth. Without you, I wouldn't be smiling today.

To me, you are a Dark Knight. You're one of the reasons why I still see beauty in this messy world. You are the silver lining of the clouds he brought to my life. Please never stop being good and kind-hearted. This world needs people like you.

One last thing that I ask of you, when the time comes and I may be heading towards yet another "trouble," kindly slap me and help me see my way back to sanity. After what I've been through, I know I could trust you enough more than myself with regards to matters like this.

So from the bottom of my kinda-broken-yet-mending heart, thank you very much my dearest friend!

The love and friendship you show never goes unnoticed.

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