I used to only have one dream, to be a doctor. Well, it is because of my mom wanting me to do so but I do like it because no other course suits me well. I didn't do well in the arts, media, logical reasoning, and many more. I always thought of myself as trash because I am not that pretty and smart, just like TV, movie, and book characters would be. I always cry and let myself sink deep down the ocean of depression because I believe I didn't amount to anything.
No one cheers me up because I can't tell anyone what I feel. I just smile so that nobody else can witness how unhappy I am.
Because of depression, I decided not to get involved in love as a 16-year-old girl. Also, because I am too young for that. I only want to have time for myself and knowing myself more than anyone could. So I faced many challenges and exposed myself in so many new things because I was starting to learn how to move on and stand up. That journey started through Candy.
I started reading Candy in March 2016 and I really loved how it inspires me. It really changed my perspective in life. Because of Candy, I started dreaming more for myself like being a doctor, actress, model, dancer, singer, songwriter and producer, artist, ballet dancer, theater performer, traveler, production designer, novel writer, photographer, Candy Correspondent, and many more. I saw how endless the possibilites are if you only dreamed, but making those a reality is a big challenge for me and seemingly impossible. I felt down seeing so many experts and achievers even at a young age. It hurts that I only see myself as someone with no remarkable achievements so far. At our school, I only joined quiz bee competitions because I think that competition is what suits me. I want to join webpage designing, poster making, journalism, and beauty pageants but I didn't have the courage to join because I think I am not yet fully-equipped.
If only I could turn back the time and learn about a lot of things at a young age, then I could have joined those competitions. I blamed myself for not having big dreams when I was younger because all I cared about is having comforts in life. Going to school for me then was just for getting good grades.
But having regrets won't do me any good. I decided to start empowering myself through hobbies.
But having regrets won't do me any good. I decided to start empowering myself through hobbies to lessen any pressure and have some me-time. I also joined the film-making team in our school and I was appointed as their makeup artist and even supporting actress. After the hardships our team contributed, we did go to the regional competition. Sadly, we didn't win but the whole experience was worth it. All the films that we watched inspired me to do good by the time I was a senior.
I want to learn many things to be the total achiever I've ever dreamed of. So Candy Girls, always have goals in life and don't forget to ask guidance from God. Always have courage and cheer up. And don't forget to read Candy, too!
Are you going through depression or anything you think you can't handle? There's a safe space for you to talk about what you're going through. Call 804-HOPE (4673).