Candy Feels
From Our Readers: Let Me Write About You for the Last Time
Goodbye to you, Secret Crush.
PHOTO The CW ART Naomi Torrecampo

I was a sophomore and he was a freshman when we first met. We became online friends, but we were really awkward in school. I remember telling myself that he's the kind of a guy I would never have a crush on but I was wrong about him. His sense of humor and smile made me fall for him. I kept my feelings for him because he liked someone else.

It was in my third year when he posted something on Facebook that I couldn't forget. He said, "You are my secret crush." I immediately asked him who he was referring to because it was easy for me to assume that maybe it was me. But I was too assuming because he gave me another namen. After that, my feelings for him slowly faded away.

Months passed since our last conversation. My feelings for him were almost gone and I didn't like him that much. But then my friend suddenly came up to me and told me that he also had a crush on me. I don't know what to feel that time. It was a conflict between happiness and doubt.

The day came when he finally told me that he liked me. He told me that the status was really about me. He admitted that he just covered things up with another name because he was afraid that I will ignore him if he told me the truth. His code name for me was Secret Crush, which was corny but it actually made me blush. Even though he confessed, I still preferred not to tell him about my feelings. Knowing that he liked me too was really enough for me. I didn't want him to take advantage of my feelings. Besides it would not make sense since he's already seeing someone else.

His code name for me was Secret Crush, which was corny but it actually made me blush. Even though he confessed, I still preferred not to tell him about my feelings. Knowing that he liked me too was really enough for me.

It was my last year in high school, but he was still the first person I want to see every flag ceremony. He was the same person I wrote about in my diary and he was still my favorite fairy tale. My fourth year became the time when I realized how I truly felt about him. It was prom night, it was the moment when he danced me to my favorite song.

It was the first time we had a moment alone. It was magical. It felt like a fairytale. I was almost in love.

I was already in college when he started to pursue me. He knew I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend yet but he told me that he's willing to wait. But as time went by, he became bitter and impatient. He just took my feelings for granted.  I thought he'll wait for me. Maybe it was my fault to believe in his words too much rather than his actions. He;s not serious after all.

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In teenage life, you're going to meet a person that will let you discover your different emotions. I've realized that you are allowed to feel that feeling of learning to be in love and not falling in love. The idea of love allows you to feel the joy, kilig, and pain in order to grow; to be matured enough so that when the right time comes, you will be ready.

High school taught me so many things and he was part of my lesson. He was almost my first love, but I think, I didn't deserve him. He's not worth it. I guess, there are some people that were fated to meet but not destined to be together. So this is me, letting go my feelings for you. Goodbye to you, Secret Crush.

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