Being friends with someone is easy. Falling in love with that same person is a different story.
It has been 10 years now, Red. It's been 10 years since we became thisclose and became each other's shoulder to lean on. Ten years of tears, laughters, this love-hate friendship. We have always been there for each other. What you don't know, though, is that it's also been a decade of holding on to what I thought was just a "fleeting feeling".
Truth be told, I never thought we'll end up right where we are now. I never thought our friendship would last this long, maybe because I was the type who never thought of getting real close to guys. But then you found me easy to talk to and I even remember you telling me that I was the type of girl that guys would like to hang out with, that I was someone whom you would love to share your thoughts to. I knew it then.
I knew that all those long and serious conversations, secrets, holding hands meant nothing. We're still in a platonic relationship. I was stuck in the friend zone.
You told me about your weakest parts and I stayed there, listening. You told me how you hated your dad for leaving; I still listened. You told me how you fell in love with some girl you met at a quiz bowl. You told me all the details of the memories you had with her. You told me how happy you were and how your heart skipped a beat on the night that she finally said yes. I was still there, listening. I sat there and stared at you, hoping I was that girl instead.
But I'm your friend, just your friend. And what else could a friend do? What else could I do? I faked a smile and said the most painful words that a hopeful girl could ever say: I'm happy for the two of you. It was then that I decided to let go of this foolish feeling that I have for you. Choosing, instead, to be the friend you've always thought me to be.
Believe me, it wasn't easy. It felt like torture but as they say, life must go on.
Years have passed and we are still the best of friends. We're now both happy. You have someone. And I, too, have my own. But there are still moments, a few seconds when I think about how I truly feel about you. The feelings remained.