1. Best Valley Girl Accent: Emma Watson in The Bling Ring
Girl can do no wrong—not even the most annoying, grating accent in the world.
2. Best Give-Him-His-Own-Franchise-Already Villain: Loki
He's so well-loved by everyone, I don't even have to mention which movie he's from.
3. Best Eyebrow Besties: Clary and Simon in The Mortal Instruments
In between rescuing and getting rescued, they manage to be totes on trend, you guys.
4. Best Fodder for Crossover Fanfics: About Time
This is Bill Weasley. Going inside a closet. (For Narnia!) His dad is Minister Rufus Scrimgeour, and the love of his life used to be called The Time Traveler’s Wife. Plot bunnies, ready, set, go!
5. Most Likely to Drive You Nuts: Spring Breakers
I'm far from squeamish and I think that I'm pretty liberal, but I just could not stand Spring Breakers. I mean, I wasn't looking for the meaning of life, just some sort of rhyme or reason to the non-stop partying and grinding and crass YOLO-ing. And James Franco's incessant "Spraaang breaaak" did not help things. *shudder*
6. Best Use of 3D: One Direction: This Is Us
I’m sorry, superhero blockbusters, but my Directioner heart will have to give this one to the lads. Just a few hundred bucks to have 1D so near and lifelike you could almost reach out and touch them? SIGH.
7. Best Thing to Dream About During Rush Hour: This Scene from Pacific Rim
All together now: "Walking fast / Faces pass / And I'm home bound."
8. Best Scruff: Henry Cavill in Man of Steel
Look at that sweet, sweet mug.
9. Worst Prom Ever: Carrie
Doesn't get any suckier than this.
10. Best Ending: This Is the End
Because Backstreet Boys.
What movie awards would YOU give?