On The Voice, it takes a lot to convince contestants to join your team. You need wits, charm, and sneaky tactics—the same things you need when asking your parents to extend your curfew, your prof to accept your late paper, or your friend to lend you that cute skirt. So, useful skillz are useful.
Know your history.
Shakira: "Listen, there was Hannibal. He was a great tactician, but he didn't win. A winner in history was Alexander the Great because he was a strategist. So are you going to end up with a bunch of Hannibals right here, or are you going to end up with Alexander the Great?"
Learn the art of sweet-talk.
Blake: "Don't you want to be with a coach who recognizes your talent right off the bat?"
Sometimes, clichés are okay as long as you mean them.
Blake: "Let me tell you something, I'm buying your record if it comes out tomorrow."
Use your sense of humor.
Shakira on Adam: "You know his tattoo is Chinese for 'not the coach for you.'"
Appeal to a higher power.
Use your God-given lineage.
Your God-given dimples.
Your God-given gender... and anti-gender bias (sort of) logic.
Shakira: "They're not man enough to take you. I'm good with girls."
Adam: "So am I."
If you're losing, change the narrative...
Blake: "Ever since this show won an Emmy, you've completely changed, Usher!"
Or call out your rival's BS.
Hit 'em where it hurts, just not below the belt...
Usher: "I'm the guy who really likes to savor the moment."
Blake: "Bull crap, you couldn't make up your mind."
Okay, maybe a little below the belt.
Adam: "Hey, Blake, how does your butt feel? I just whooped it."
Admit your faults.
Shakira: "In season four I might have been hormonal and sleepless, but now I'm rested and focused as laser."
(Not-so) humble brag—and own it.
Shakira: "I have over 20 million people on Twitter. These three guys combined—no offense—they don’t get to 17 million. I have 20 myself. I know, it's crazy!"
Get by with a little help from your friends...
Use reverse psychology.
Adam: "I was trying to pretend I didn't like you so that no one would turn around."
Enjoy the process.
Get real with the person you’re trying to win over.
Adam: "As great as that was, I don't think that was your best. So what does your best look like?"
If all else fails, just go straight to the point.
See, even Loki agrees.
The Voice airs Mondays and Tuesday, around 8 pm on AXN.